devul

I must work harder! to my goals, my dreams, my mission, and you.

2010-10-24T23:43:00.002+08:00

It quite a long time since i posted something here, on blogger. Recently i was given the job of a Ursher at Kpop night. After the entire event, I felt that i have wasted 18 years of my life doing nothing, go crazy over nothing and getting all that heat up for nothing.

All my 18 years of life, I have been worrying if ever "my loved one" will be happy! was worrying if she will go away with someone! doing all the jobs to make me look that i am actually on a leveol they can rely on, but actually i am nothing! totally nothing. Looking at all those korean pop band. They were merely 30 and they actually make a name out for themselves. They are that young when they already make a name out for themselves and what about me? I am 18 goin 19 and i couldnt even save the first 1k in my saving account! that y once again i questioned myself, how much have i grown? how much am i to the goal of being a good father? how much happiness can i bring to that girl who is with me? the answer is..

I don even dare to think!!!

I want to make a different, but now the question is how? how can i make a different? Do i study hard? work hard? or rather make efforts in little thing i am doing? I am lost. But defintely i know i mustnt stick to the path i am walking now! cos it isnt the path for me! I must work harder! to my goals, my dreams, my mission, and you.

2010-05-16T22:02:00.002+08:00

It has been so so so so so dam long since i last posted anything on the blog.. hmm... Maybe i am too busy or perharp there isnt anithing for me to post but most importantly I am here and i have got something to say!

I got a feeling that I am too childish! don u guys think so? guys as in those silent blog stalker? So i think that i should grow up to be more mature to be more steady in the way i handle things and so on and so forth! so first thing i decided that i shouldnt use that much of my game nickname! devul, althought it sounds dam cool to me but also it sound childish to me.

And for those "dear" friends who keep buggin me about whether if i have a girlfriend this or that! PLS~ stop. I don have one. other then that, life is pretty boring for me in poly.. but i hope it will be fun someday after another. until then! take care!

2010-01-31T23:22:00.002+08:00

Actually i wanted to share some stuff with u! feelin so brood up inside, wanted to find someone to talk to! but whenever we come across this kind of topic u keep on tellin me not to think too much! not to think too much! but, I am not thinking too much
! I am not thinking too much!!!!

U said that we are not possible! Have u put urself in my point of view and look at those words which u send via sms? Discriminating eh! veri hurting eh! If u say a few times can bo-chap! but everytime when we talk about this! every single time..

Why? If i really like u! those words from u will meant nth! but if I merely treat u like a good fren and u kept on sayin that! i felt that u are not puttin me on the same level wif u! What if i lyk u? Wat if i not? am i that unworthy to u? Unuseful? always admire ur style of doin stuff! but it feels dam sad knowin that i am not on the same level wif u! dam sad.

lesson 1

2010-01-04T00:19:00.002+08:00

First of all! happy new year guys~ wish u guys have a splendid year.

Hmm.. Im wonderin, what hurts the most, see-in ur love one get hurt? or thinkin that ur close one brought all the misery onto u? hmm.. hard to make a choice uh! haha~ read this short novel online! quite a sad one! "happiness never last! but sadness remains in our memory forever!"

For boys-can u possibly bring ur emotion down! in order to "hurt" a girl whom u loved? for entertainment? who could? hmm.. When a problem emerge and there is a need for the pair to split up! the guy will always take the first move to asked for a breakup if the girl's safety is ensured.After breakin up, the guys will always do things undercover to ensure that the girl's pain is cushion as much as possible! thinkin that happiness is ensured before he decided to vanish into is emotional world.

But they never really understand how the ladies think.Do U think the ladies would prefer bein alone yet safe! or bein wif him yet dangerous? think again! do u think those cushionin ever helps them? or do u think at the end of the day they are soakin their pillows in tears? hmm.. go watch new moon! the ans is there! who lyk seperation? who lyks bein alone?

The onli big difference between girl and guy is by the way they express! normally, an emotional lady is easier to spot compared to an emotional guy! guys are pratically good hider and woman are better in expressin! Think again! do u think the guy is feelin less pain compared to the girl? think again!

ok ok! i know! for some im talkin crap! but yea! just wanted to clear my mind of this stuff! SRY~ T.T

miss.unknown

2009-12-28T23:36:00.003+08:00

A veri big thanks to Unknown for nominatin me to be the person who giv ''bring laughters to others!'' is lyk WoW~ didnt expect that la! they wan me to write up a wadeva report sia! was lyk really interested to participate in it! so i did some sketchin and plannin but all halted at a half complete my report when SOMEONE(S) came into my mind.

I didnt make everyone who is close to me happi! I did failed for two ppl~one is A guy! AH-shi-lan~, i used to called him! yea! did apologise for my misdoin! but didnt worked! and yes! even till now, we still didnt tok to each other! is lyk cold war to the extreme la! but the reason for our conflict is onli lyk ...... peanuts sia! Dam saddenin one la! another one is a girl! allowin me to onli call her CUTE~ is the promise she made to me! and yea~ similar to Ah-Shi-Lan, we are in veri good relation wif each other until some peanuts thing broke out and yea~ apologisin didnt work leddin to now! totally don talk! avoidin here and there! Wan to show concern to her/him must also go underground~ so that in the end my blessin and wishes did reach them but by other ppls. is veri veri heart sankin one la!

So sry miss.unknown! I don think i have the right to be qualified for this award, competitions! aftrall~i failed to make ppl i treasure alot! almost to the brim of treatin them as if we were bornt form the same parents! smile. but rather then that i bought them tears and anger! therefore i don think i deserve that kind of award! I rather have them back beside me then some awards lyk that~ althought the prizes dam interestin la!~haha! but yea! i really really hope that one day they will go back to normal and poof! by my side they will come! then i will really meet my goal!I will treat them extra well and never ever let them go again!never never lettin them go animore! MY PROMISE.

how can i be happy when we are seperating?

2009-12-27T21:36:00.003+08:00

hmmm.. heard from some of my fren that u aint quite happy recently ha! hmmm.. must be wonderin y i sort of lyk dao-ed u on ur birthday bah! to speak the truth! I didnt really dao-ed u! it is just that i don know how to face u, so was slowin down my pace and thinkin of wad should i do or how should i act.

Have u ever ponder and think back in time? have u ever think of how we treat each other in the past? maybe u didnt, but i did. we were dam cold to each others, it is as thou we pratically didnt talk after that incident remember? haha~ u left quite a deep impression in me! cos u are the first girl whom got me so angry! unfortunately.. recently got one more girl overtake u liao la! lol~

I cant pull myself to believe that u are so close by my side, it is like a dream! i agree, we spent alot of happy times together! we share quite alot of sad moments together.. that is y we unknowinly built a bond inter-linkin our heart to one another.I really felt peaceful, in bliss whenever im wif u. u may not know, but i felt ur concern, ur warmth~ overwhelmin the sadness which i am suppose to feel after those incidents. U reduce my pain and sufferin by a leap.

After ur b'd is over! my promised to u is done! poly will start follow by JC! that day is like a day where i will lost touch of someone who is carin and protectin me! i nid to be back on my feets again, and u too~ it(ur b'd) is more of an event of seperation rather then celebration.. how can i be happy that day? how can i smile to u and pretend that nth is happenin? how am i goin to be happy when we are speratin? do u know how unwillin i am? haha~ wakin up from my dream! remember our goals uh! jiayou!

be strong javier

2009-12-10T22:40:00.004+08:00

Hmm how long since i last posted anithin? aniway~ nice to meet u guys! and thanks for all the encouragement buddies! frens! laopos! really thanks for bein my cushion when im in the darkest hour. hmm~ i didnt know my blog got quite a number of silent stalker who don use my tag box! but really, thanks for those concerns all my dear silent stalkers -.- ( don know how to use a even nicer term)

hmm.. wat is love? is it just that sudden rush of adrenaline when u see that particular someone? or is it that constant reminders and efforts u put in tryin to tell urself it's over but yet u know ur heart still cant agree to it! is it that simple sms of affection or is it hating yet knowin that u cant hate. Millions have been broke, hurt, conned becos of this words! yet many still believe in this fantasy that one day her/ his mr/mrs right will come into his/her world lyk a fairy and everythin will go like the way fairytales always ended, happily ever after. But seriously speakin, how many of us did really see ani couples who nvr had a single conflict before? therefore conflict is inevitable.

In my own opinion,What make a friendship or rather a relationship long and strong is the way they handle these conflict... there are many way in solvin this conflict but how different the ways are, they always come out wif one party apologisin and the other party forgivin! In most cases nth is too big or bad until they cannt be savage ani more! Ego and sturbborness are normally the more common factors which which will led the rather easy to solve problems into some kind of crisis which will result in hurtin the both party, often deeply!

In my personal point of view! wantin an angel to just pop into ur life and then live happily ever after is almost impossible! if U wan ppl to lyk u! to take note of u! to show u care and concern! first u must start off with urself! relationship and friendship is unlike studies, there shouldnt be ani goals in mind, but is the feel that really matters! U will not always reap wat u sow! sometiomes u will get a unexpected windfall yet sometimes all ur crops may die! but it is how u stand up and prepare for the next batch of crops! U wan ppl to respect u! start by respectin ppl! u wan ppl to love u start by lovin them! U wan ppl take note of u! start by takin note of them! and start with this word TRUST. Try feedin a dog meats instead of bones, try givin the cat fish instead of junks. Things will change for the better.

If u ever had a girl in mind! which make u cry! which make u angry! which make u sulk! which make u high! which make u smile! and no matter how hard u are tryin u cannt forget her... which still hurts when u see things that are once so close to her! that still itch ur heart when somethin is happenin to her! that still wan to make u pretend that U nvr met her before.. don force urself to forget her! but rmb her! don force ur mind to erase her, don pressurize ur heart to delete her but tell ur soul that a part of her still remains in u! and she will wan the best for u and move on..

-u can lie to ur heart,ur soul, ur mind bout the person loved! but once u see that person ur expression will reveal the truth which u had been hidin!

jiayou javier~

most miserable day of my life

2009-11-30T00:41:00.002+08:00

I suddenly felt so stress! so freakin stress! everyh=thin just gave way!one by one i fought for to gain trust and respect yet one by one it failed me! i don know... im really dam stress. Health,Results,family,frens and u! all of it i out in effort to attain wat i hope to see! and just when i tot i saw the light! i failed once again! i failed lyk i was in primary school! i felt so useless! dumb! rubbish bin! i felt so un-needed! i don understand why! perservin ur smile! creatin a trouble free home, "B"results! frens who understand rather then take advantage! and cuttin down on weights! i don know! all of my aim all failed me one by one! im miserable.really donkey miserable.

sry.

2009-11-23T19:17:00.003+08:00

I don know! i really don~i don understand! Since the two of u are angry wif me! then the problems lies wiif me rather then wat i used to think~ I am onli tryin to protect the two of u! becos the two of u means alot alot alot to me! I always believe that as long as u girls are smilin im right! im on the right path as long as the two of u isnt sulkin! i tried so hard! put in so much time, considerin every aspect! thinkin about every possible way i could do, every possible role i could play so as to savage and glue both of ur smile forever! I think for now! i failed! really failed, because i totally do not understand wat u girls need! i think maybe my greatest mistaker isnt lyin or not tellin! isnt apologisin or personal ego! but a little too concern about how to keep the smile glued to both of ur face until i forgotten how to live lyk a proper man! I think that is my greatest downpour!

Seriously speakin! the both of u did brought alot of joy and laughter into my life! The both of u are so blur at times, till the point i cant believe that u are my fren! the both of u are so fantastic at times, till the point i totally give in my heart to! the both of u are are so nice at times until i cant believe im actually livin in mother earth! the both of u are so so so wonderful! in term of frens, best frens or watever! when im typin this post, my brain is playin like a recorder! i can clearly remeber the times when u make me laugh so hard! the time when u made me feel warmth in the darkest nite! I felt i was loved! i felt that im finally the center's of ones eyes! i felt happy. really happy, from the bottom of my heart. But everytime! every time when i shared somethin unhappy about myself to u guys! i sort of find that u guys are feelin depressed! some wat sad! and for me! i hate to see ppl i lyk that much! treasure that much to be sad! even the slightest bits~i just hate it! And since that is the cause of the ll the problem im facin! i should cover it up wif anithin, ani possible ways to cover up the problem! i always think that wat im doin is the best for all of us! but now the resultn is so negative! one of them is angry! and the other is either fed up! or don even wan to see me again! best if i just die!

I don know if that is wat ppl always say: don act smart! becos u are not smart at all! i just felt very very sry to put u ladies throught this, which is so unncessary if not of my stupidity! No wonder i make the both of u so angry! im really a big bug idiot! my way of 大男人主意 is just so wrong! cos in the end im not gettin wat i wan! the smile glued smile form the both of u! "when i put myself in the shoes of both of u! i found that, wat i did was really intolerable and Idiotic! I didnt know that im so selfish! Wat i onli knew how to do was to make decision which i think will benefits u ladies most instead of considerin wat is it that u really wanted! Who would wan a fren who onli shared happy moment wif them but keep all the sad moment form them? who would wan a fren to lie to them! or to interfere in their life almost 24hrs a day! who would wan a fren to decide wat is right for them and let the fren thake away the ur ability to choose! who would wan a fren who will try to put on a mask in front of u everytime he meets u! where is the stabilty? how can i then trust this fren? how then can i then believe this fren of mine will be faithful to me, today! yst! tmr! and alot more tmr! So wat if he is good! so wat if he is carin! so wat if he lyks and wan to protect me! he isnt givin me the proper respect which i should get! so wat if he is a maker! so wat if he promnise me the stars and the moon! he couldnt understand the basic aspect of frenship! i felt as if my 感情 had be conned by this guys! completely! he is just a big big big big big asshole! who thinks that he understand everythin but he didnt! "he didnt even understand why i woke up in the middle of the nite to sms him when he was insulted by his fren! he didnt even understand why I kept quiet when eveyone was disturbin him! I doubt he understand why I cared about him so much! all he knows is to apologise! and even if he does apologise! did he even know wat he is apologisin for? all is he apologisn for the sake of apologisin thinkin that apologisin can get him throught everythin! I always thought he understand me, that y i trusted him so much! that y i make a pact wif him allowin him onli to call me 'cute' that y i speak to him when i feel upset! but time after time! chance after chance he failed me! hen totally don know me! he know nth! his words of promise sound so nice that i just wish time hang from that moment! but wat's the point of promisin if he is goin to break it 2 or 3 months down the road! he just don understand me!" " Wat is the point tellin him all of my 心事 when he didnt even wan to share wif me his? am i that un trust worthy to him? then wat is all this smsin? wat is all this little chat session i had wif him? was it just another show or act he put up to lie to me? how then can i trust him? wat did he see me as? did he even treat me on the level of fren! how important am i to him? just another donkey or monkey lyk wat he always mentioned? am i that low class? Wat does he think he is! some kind of hero who happy-dally popped into my life and tell me that he will protect me for the rest of my life? Wat is the point of bein a fren if he just wan to become a hero who come and goes as he wans? wat is the point of bein nice to me when he is just goin to crush wat we have built lyk legos? just how important did he see our 感情? a child's play? MASA? is he worth it? is he? just another sucker who wans to act cool! just another asshole which thinks that he knows anithin and everythin! Let me tell u in the face man dude! u DON!"

Took me long enough to find out that wat i always think im right and best at is wat im most stupid and idiotic at! Im sry for bein so slow and stupid! imagine how much i had hurt u girls! it just pain my hearts! seriously speakin~ Death is not an issue i will bother much about! but u girls are the things which i will nvr nvr be able to forget and walk past as if ani donkey did! Im wrong this time! seriously wrong! so wrong until i don know how to repent! don know how to make up! don know how to forgive myself! but i think, i still owe the both of u one apology! since becos of my immature thinkin i had make u suffer this much! I hope the two of u can find a fren next time! sry~ i couldnt forgive myself! my misdeed is just KNS! I failed to be the promise one! i failed to be the carin one! i failed as ur fren.

Sry! tian-cai! for everythin.
Sry! huiting! I failed.
Im sry ladies! really apologetic.

-jz(asshole)

words of depression

2009-11-10T20:02:00.003+08:00

Should i or should i not? i no longer know! im so confused! so veri veri confused! i know that u are unhappy! those starin starin thing which u did! i know that u don wan me to be close to anione! i somehow know all of that. but how am i goin to ensure the safety of this another innocent girl? she isnt an weapon! she isnt a tool! she is someone i treasure as much as u! she is that special to me too!

U arent given me hope! u arent givin me ani chance to repent! u arent givin me anithin, u arent givin me the ability to move forwards or backwards! u are just tryin to make me angry! veri angry! veri lonely! and very down! if not for all of my other frens! i would have giv up long ago! u broke me! u broke my heart! and u are unhappy when i am wif other girls! yet u wan me to see u wif other guys! WTH! i don know! if love is blind! i hope i will nvr lyk u ever again! it is painful! way to pain! i don know! wo mei you yong bah!

2009-10-28T23:41:00.001+08:00

BYE!

2009-10-25T23:28:00.002+08:00

hey guys! miss me! i bet u do right? well! sad news! is experiencin shit now! First i hurt a girl! a girl i lyk so so so much! Actually all was a misunderstandin which cannt be explain based on the situation now! facin hell all day round! waves after waves of torment gushes into my head as if it was tornado! no a tsunami! not even one hour of peace sia!
hey girl!
I know u heard enough of apologies! and yea! i think u heard enough of explanation? is this all? is this how things should end for both of us? i no longer know it animore? is lyk i m tryin so hard to patch things up! yet u come forcefully and tear it apart as if tat was wat u wanted! u might not know! but ur little little expression where u gloom are lyk needle which not onli pierce my heart but stab it constantly! the song which u sent me! everytime the rythms plays in my heart! my heart start poundin faster! and faster! breathin deepen! until i couldnt breathe properly at all! the feelin of lost! the feelin of recivin the feelin of U! it just hurt so much i wish i was shot immediately! hiax! blame myself for not cherishin u!

2009-10-13T01:29:00.001+08:00

Hmm! haha~ hiax! sianz! crap! shit! took my pay but still feel shit! hiax! not despo! hiax! not dreamin! hiax! i lyk u~ hiax!

regrets

2009-09-24T00:29:00.001+08:00

I think i have made a terrible mistake by sendin u that msg yst nite right girl? u must be thinkin that i am good to u for a purpose! u must have think that i am a hole in a hole in a pigeon hole right!i am sry! real sry! was no longer clear of wat i wanted yst nite~ hasty and alot of assumption created misunderstandin which i didnt manage to see and clear. everythin turned into a mess when i suddenly became impatient and toss away that piece of necklace~ to me it was lyk tossin away all the hopes i pended on u.next comes the dream,which made me lost control of my emotions.. and ya~ i did somethin which i wasnt suppose to do. When i settle down and calm down! then i realise how foolish i am to do thing lyk such. i regretted it! seriously regretted it! just hope that wat i did to u the nite before didnt hurt u! for i will hate myself forever if i hurt u! im sry~ regrettful! and missin u!im so so so idiot~ so foolish! so jiazhen...

Im a big bad IDIOT!

2009-09-21T23:42:00.002+08:00

HEY~ do u know what hurts and scare me the most? Dreams! do u know why is it dreams? becos wake up! i must comfort myself everythin is just a dream! when it becomes a habits, i nid to face this fear of wakin up and sleepin everyday! that is how scary it is to me! will things turns into reality? i doubt? i don know? im confuse!

2009-09-08T21:13:00.000+08:00

First thing first! happy b'd to my dearest mother! hope that u will will be as happy as a nut! but don turn into a nut la! afterall! i wan a happy and carefree mother rather then a mother! it hurts my heart to see u angry or feelin sad becos of my actions! i will promise u i will be good! so that i can freeze ur smile till eternity.
slept for 3 hrs yst nite! hmm.. ya! was broodin over somethin! but NO! i nvr emotional breakdown! i just felt very bad! veri veri bad and sry to some of my frens! after i heard from cherry wat u said! my heart just shattered! i didnt expect,didnt think, didnt imagine not even dream that u will say those words to me. Was my care for u not enuff? was it that i had bein doin the wrong things from the time i decided to help u? was it that.... Im no longer sure wat i did for u was right! am i right to exchange my frens and her moodiness for ur smile? am i right to stand by ur side even if the whole world will turn against me! had i done somethin wrong yst nite? i really really don know!
I wanted to keep my promised! i wanted to keep u free from tears! i wanted to keep u free from anithin that might hurt u! i wanted u to be happy! but~ i don know! i got so flared up becos im worried bout wat u did! u wanted him to giv up! u wanted him not to waste his time! but that is just not the way to do things! that is just so incorrect! by lettin more ppl know bout u and him! u are not onli hurtin him but urself too! do u now that? if u hurt him! his frens will hate u~ u will have less frens! u will feel sad! and alot of other veri inconvenient stuff will comes in~ if the whole class knows about it! Steph may knows! and from the present data we had so far! Steph has the highest possibility of lyk him! and u will make urself another enemy and make one of ur frens moody over it! ppl in the class may also not agree to wat u are doin! cos from alot of ppls point of view~ he isnt a bad guy! he is quite a "popular" in the class, they may deemed ur actions as somethin bad rather then the way u think it is. In my point of view! wat u are doin is suicidal rather then makin him giv up! i don know~ wat maybe the best way for u to tell him this! but a face to face talk is unavoidable if u wan things to go that way! so ya.. i don know! maybe wat i said was bullshit! i just arrgghh... feel veri vexed up. do u know u just poke somethin sharp into my heart yst? it hurts! really hurts! i don know y u are doin it! but ya~ i had always deem u as a close frens! so close that i am willin to go to the extent of goin against 2 of my most important pillars in life! but but~ u showed me in one nite that i was really nth to u! u told me cherry that i was sidin him when i almost giv up everythin in return for ur smile! i just don understand y do u wan to say that! im always standin by ur side, helpin u to keep alook out on appraochin dangers! but nvr nvr nvr did i dreamt that u will actually say that im just sidin him when i am not! Im not regrettin for wat i have done, neither did i felt ani happier by doin that! but i just i just wanted u to be happy and stay unharm at the end of the days! Im sry that i broke my promise yst! im sry that i made u angry yst! im sry ting! im sry yy!im sry for tryin to act smart!im sry for bein a smart alec! i just don wan u guys to be gloomy and sad at the end of the days.. Im so sry for everythin guys! it is all my fault! so all of u just pls smile! and ya~ thank you cherry! really thanks!
i don know how to cont le! just hope the best for u guys! ya thats all! so ya.. pls be happy

fan fan fan fan

2009-09-01T20:38:00.002+08:00

hello guys! yep! i know i just posted somethin today mornin! yep! i know this is just wastin ur time! so pls for those who don feel lyk seein stuff which will make ur body-hair stand, move ur cursor to the top right-hand corner! see the X button? yep! u are right! click it! wad? ask u weather to close tabs anot? eh! press yes! ya! gone right? magical right! lol! ya! i know! im just bein lame! yea! but other then bein lame~ i don know wat else i can do! yea! i really don know wat else i want to do!
U made me so so so confused and vexed up over these things! so much so~ that i cant sleep well at nite! so much so that i cant stop thinkin of wat u are doin every now and then but still worried that my SMSes will make u frustrated and irritated! so much so that i still pick up my phone now and then hopin to see ur name appear right infront of me! I don wanna give u extra stress lyk wat my fren done to ur best frens! i don wan to give u stress and force u to make decision base on impulses or stress.. I want to give u the previlage of havin all the time to ur own! i wan u to be happy! i wan u to smile lyk a nut! i wan u to be everythin~ every every beautiful i seen in my life! Im sorry! i have been under lots and lots of stress recently! exams! frens! family!... i wanted to squeeze out more time! maybe just that extra 5 mins for me to pick up the phone to see how u are doin! but i just lack the courage and time to do so! SRY~ for everythin that got to do wif not callin u! Im puzzled! seriously puzzled by ur actions! I no longer can tell if ur actions is a act of courteousy or have other meanins to it! i force myself not to think too much! i ask advice from my frens! but still... i came to conclude that it was the act of jealousy! the conclusion got me happy for quite a few days! before ur words hit me head on and put me to exile again! there was this time! when u suddenly have a total change in behavior to me. THAT feelin is unbearable! it is lyk takin away all the sweetness in an instance and flooded me up wif toxic! it is suffocatin me! it is killin me bits by bits!it just hurts to the core and leave me awake throu out the nite! are u really happy doin that? is this really wat u wan? i don know! im not sure! im confused!!!
Do u still rmb this poem? i don eat in the mornin becos i miss u..
i don eat in the afternoon becos i miss u..
i don eat in the nite becos i miss u..
i don sleep at nite becos im hungry.. still rmb this poem u sent me? i couldnt sleep that nite! i couldnt imagine that u would actually send me this kind of things! i was so so so excited and happy that nite! u told me it was cute! and yea! really it was! but i just cant stop myself into thinkin u are actually hintin me... and when those thoughts flows down each and every veins in my body! i felt the sudden sure in courage, happiness and HOPE. im a loser! maybe u did that out of courtesy maybe u mean somethin more then it! maybe u find that it is a good piece u must share wif ur frens! maybe u wanted me to see it! maybe u wanted me to forward it! or maybe... i don know! sometimes when i feel vexed up or have a small conflict wif my frens or family! ur smile will force away all my feelin and make me smile radiantly again! sometimes! i just wish to spend that little more time wif u! i value all those train ride wif u by my side! i treasure all those time i spent together wif u! i rmb and will nvr forget each and every single words i used in a phone conversation wif u! i hate to see ur tears! i hate to see u feelin sad! cos each and every of that expression breaks my hearts! i promise u wif happiness! and i will accomplish my promise even if im not the one by ur side! as long as u smile at then end of the day! I hope to e the reason u smile for, the reason u drops ur tears for.. and the reason u get angry for! becos im nvr goin to make u feel that drop a single tears or get angry~ i don know how! but i will do it! i think! i feel! i promised!
to evoke a feelin takes time..
to stir a sense takes seconds..
to miss u takes mins..
to think of u takes hours..
to be love u takes week..
to be wif u takes months..
to be together for a lifetime takes years..
to make u bring u happiness and laughter takes my lifetime..

Ur happiness is my choice! it has been and will always be... Even if im not the one by ur side everynite!

fan fan fan...

2009-08-31T23:48:00.002+08:00

Seriously! I feel dam sick and tired today~ really! i almost fought wif one of my best fren! and ya.. i almost fought wif her! seriously! Till now~ i don know if wat im doin correct! Did i really help the wrong side? im so not sure! i don know! yea! im confused! so confused and frustrated until i don feel lyk gamin or wateva! i don know~ i don wan! but i did! hiax~
I think~ sry is all i can say to those which i had hurt! I don know! zhen de hen fan!
Am i dumb or wat? I must be! why did i do? i actually hurt all my dearest ones? sry thye whye~ sry sry! i may sound a little too harsh today! Im deeply sry for wat i did! I shouldnt have said those nasty words! im a big idiot! i should have put myself in ur shoes and see how u will feel! i should have try to understand u more! i should have try to make things better from u! I should have played my part as a fren~ I should have stick by ur side throu this time! i failed! i failed! im a freakin failure! im sry~
I don dare to think too far... i don dare to question if we had that feelin for each others? i wonder if u think that way too! I always lyk u~ without ani doubts! u shld be able to know that! I really don know if wat u are feelin is jealousy or the fear of losin... but! no matter wat! i will be by ur side! lyk i always promise! ur happiness is my choice, it has been and always will be! Im such a big fat loser becos other then sayin that im sry! i don know wat i can say animore! i wan u to be happy! be it by my side or not by my side! i wan u to be the happiest girl on earth! lyk i promised! but~ but~ i didnt make all of that come true! recently, there is just too much thing s for me to stress on! my exam! my frens! my life!... there is just so much thing to stress on such that i cant giv u the squeeze out moe time for you! i really wan to tok wif u! i really wan to tell u somethin sweet~ i really wan u to be the happiest girl on earth! but somehow! things had been goin way out of control! things are so unpredicted! unrefine! unexpected! Wat shld i do? wat shld i think? how shld i act to make u feel better? Im just a shit hole in a hit hole in a shit hole! im just a big bad sucker~ i don know! i don really don know!
I have exchange for two of my most important thing~ to help u! pls cherish it! pls pls!

hiax! i hen fan!

rainbow

2009-08-20T20:43:00.000+08:00

Hello guys~ how are all of u doin? doin super great right! first of all i will wish to wish ur all good luck and fortune for this entire month- the hungry ghost festival... may all of u live throu it peacefully. And of cos! i haven forget u guys! may all of u be happy and stressless for the comin o level exam! i will always be there to support u! ^^ haha!

My life wise! yes! presently i am preparin for my comin exam on monday! and i have two paper that day lor! dam stressful! sianz! but~ i think i should be able to brush it throu... don know la! see how first lo! i got a veri strong feelin that maths! is sure die de! cfm~ cmi! haha! lol~ but will put in my best la! and maybe~ maybe! got small chance that can make it bah! haha.. Frens wise~ so far so good lor!

haha! i tell u guys! today dam drama~ Was meetin a girl at punggol inter today but she woke up late so i got over to SK to wait for her! then happily wait at the presumed " bus-stop" thinkin that she confirm will be there hopin to surprise her... but of cos! act smart onli~ she waited for bus at another bus-stop, meanin that i waited an hour plus for nth~ after and hour! i decide not to wait animore as i was seriously late~ so reluctantly i left the bus-stop and board the bus. to my surprise~ she also board the bus! but unaware of my presence~ so i kept quiet and alight the bus when i reached pretendin that i didnt meet her! lol! dam qiao right! haha~ then when we met~ she was lyk angry becos i didnt wait for her..... lol...
wat a joke! haha! omg! stop the postin liao! i nid go study liao! BB~

pls give me ur opnion after readin it

I hope to be the 4 weathers in ur life..
Because sometimes..
I could be sunny,
so as to make u smile as radiantly as the sun.
sometimes..
I maybe rainy,
to help u empty all of ur sorrow and tears.
sometimes..
I would be windy,
so that i can put~ a little kiss on ur face whenever i passes u.
sometimes..
I must be cloudy,
To cover up the pain u feel in ur heart.
But~
I think it is best for me to be me myself..
so that, i can
love you,protect you and look after you..
throughout all the weather and season..

-jz

2009-08-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

Hi guys! lol! im back! how are u all doin? must be doin well right? cos i nvr heard ani news of u guys not doin well! so far so good right? lol! sry for not postin this few days... cos ya! a little busy wif school work~ project and things lyk that! okay! pls don be shock~ but jz who attained a beginner cert in swimmin can swim breast stroke to and forth the pool in 2 mins 57 sec time~ which is lyk so much better as compared to my last timein which is about 5 plus 6 mins! so ya... congratz me! haha~ all the hard work had finally paid of lo!

As for work wise! so far so good but failed one of the CKT test~ cos i didnt study! lol! so no one to blame accept myself.lol! Frens wise~ im havin more and more frens! so ya... it is a good thing. haha! weight wise~ i don know! lol! is lyk so long before i last check my weight le! lol.

Relationship wise~ yes. no change im still single! it is just that now I threw the ball out to see if it rolls back to me! if it dosent we are not meant to be! so ya~ im lyk wsitin to see how things will proceed and how things will end in the end! afterall! i havent forget my past mistake~ lol! so ya~ don jump in to quickly! unless u are lookin for ur death.

chronosphere....

I hope I can have...
just one second wif you,
to giv you the kiss of my life.
Maybe Half a minute is fine,
I will fill it up wif i love you.
Grateful if you give me one full minute,
I will look at u till my eyes turn white
One hour will be prefect,
I will hug u till the day turns night.
However One day will be sweet,
I will make your smile like a lollipop sweet.
One month will be lovely,
So much so that u will smile in your dreams.
I think One year will be just enough,
for us to built our very own hut.
But forever is what i look for...
because my love for you is eternal.

Im back ^^

2009-08-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! guess wat! yes! jz is back to bloggin! so how? did u all miss me? did all those blog stalkers got tired of my blog for those long weekend which i stop my postin! do u guys wan to see the crappy jz post something crappy and yet extraordinary on his blog again? haha! i know u guys are dyin for that right! lol! okay! first first! i hope and know that some of u guys are doin very well in that period of time! wow! such a positive thing to think about right? lol! so guys! enjoy! and rmb to smile! afterall! smilin is the most important thing on earth. don u guys agree? okay! so a very warm greetings to u guys! and hope that all those good progress can continue and all those un favorable bad progress can be taken away by ur smile!

Okay! for those who knows me quite well or even worst, stalkers, u guys should have know that i created a test of how much u know jz on facebook! lol! seriously! some of ur answer are quite interestin! so interestin until i don know if u are just goin there to suan me or u really think it is that way! lol! do i look lyk a person who would giv up friendship for love~ lol! maybe! but seriously! i nvr tot of givin up friendship for love! and yea! if ever if there is a day when im force to make a choice! i will rather die! seriously! i think both friendship and love is equality important! i cant live without both of them by my side! contradict right? don have GF talk about wat love! monetary love la! lol! jk la! parental love, and crush la! lol! so ya! for guys who don know me that well! i know i low-class la! but my favorite delicacies isnt kuey chap! i lyk kuey chap! but love shark fin soup! okay~ for once i am not environmentally friendly! but who cares~ when u put that fin inside ur mouth and let it melts! wat more is better then that! imagine swallowin it! the slipperiness of the fins makes u feel as if a tofu is goin down ur throat! can u imagine it? nice right! lol~ im glad alot of ppl knows wat i don lyk! yea! i don lyk flirts! cos they are holes from the holes from the holes.... haha! that y i don lyk them -.-

well! fro my poly life~ so far so good! not much update! and of cos~ no GF yet! so ya! save ur curiosity for next time~ exam and studies wise~ hmmp.. i think so far still not bad la! cannt say fully understand wat some of the lecturer are talkin but at least understand quite abit la! recently i have just taken ckt quiz, dfund quiz, cer quiz, and maths quiz! and the highest percent of gettin a F grade is none but CKT! wth la! u know right! all the theory which i suck at and skip come out sia! is lyk~ 3 qns all kenna those i theory i don know de! kao1 is so heng de lo! i see already sianz diao liao! -.-! frens wise~ so far so good! had another new fren by the name of nich! quite a friendly guy! a nice guy! but a super super super ON match-maker! is lyk` he wun let even a slightest chance escape from him to match-make ppl la! other then that! he is quite a nice and fun guy to be wif~

My love life wise~ hmmp seriously i don know how to say la! isnt veri good~ but not that bad either! just got a girl who kinda stick to me whenever we are out! but as usual~ i wun bu zhi liang li or zhi zhuo duo qin! let waits and see how things really proceed lo! maybe! i m just a veri close fren of hers!-.- i hate the fellin of fallin into love yet knowin that there is no one to pick u up no matter how many time u call out for help from them! so ya! don giv ur heart so easily~ so that u wun feel so slippery and u will not fall in love! aiyah! see how time takes it path la!

that about all lo! actually got somemore things wan to post de! but shuo lai hua chang~ and frens askin for dota now! so ya1 will post until here! until then~ best wishes!

childish acts

2009-07-26T14:22:00.000+08:00

I don think that is the appropriate time fr me to go in to such kinds of things! ur all should know right! that guy still lyk the girl! is not lyk he completely giv up on her already, therefore that is the reason why i cant! shouldnt and musnt enter those kind of weird relationship now! afterall! he still belongs to my dear friends right. How can i be so selfish lyk ur all mentioned! if i don giv my frens a chance to patch up! somehow! i just cant do it! lol! don ask me why! i also don know why i cant go in! yep! Lyk i mentioned! it is not lyk even if i use my mouth and ask! anithin will come out from it! seriously! since young! I honestly do not have much luck in that kind of things, so ya... it is not lyk will blossom or wat! and! last and most important thing. it is not lyk i lreally lyk her. i must say she isnt that kidn of a bad lookin girl, she is my type.BUT even if i really made it wif her! and i cant giv her anithin to make her happy to make her feel that she is fortunate! then y should i even start this relationship wif her! seriously! i dont know if i can giv her happiness lo! so guys pls! i beg ur all! don gossip bout me and her! i don mind bein a clown at the end of the day! but usin my name to make fun of the other is just too wrong! ur must learn how to respect ppl! ur all must respect her! U surely don wan to see the both of us avoidin each other becos of wat ur all say, would u?

BTW! i don think harry potter is that much of a lousy movie! it is quite okay! just hat lag of a lot of actions! so i will still recommend that u guys to go and watch! but rmb! buy some porcorn in to keep urself awake~ Fri, u guys are a little too guo fen le lo! u nvr see her wholde day face black black! and ya... she face black black is the result of ur all! but i was the one apologisin! is lyk so WTH la! so pls ar! stop it k? u know she aint gonna lyk it, the pace ur all are movin us! y not let nature decide wat is best of us! if really feelings are there, everythin will go the way ur all fought for right? so pls pls! stop all those childish act!

so far so good. life is good! health is good! everythin is good! really no thime to do ani postin! will update ur all about me next time when my exam is over and i have the time! so ya!

confused!

2009-07-18T23:17:00.002+08:00

Im freakin confused! really veri confused! y are girls lyk that? y must they do that to me? Im always thinkin too much, thinkin too hard, thinkin that I will follow the path of nature,unquestionably. The both of u really got me so so so confused! u are super duper friendly towards me! U told me a lot of things, which i wasnt suppose to know.Ur smile is so innocent, so pure, fill wif so much passion when i look into ur eyes! whenever i talk to u, u always avoid lookin at me! U seem so shy when u are wif other guys! yet so comfortable and carefree when tokin to me! U hate childish ppl yet u shared so much things wif me! u treat me as if i was somethin more the frens but yet nth more then frens! u make me so freakin confuse la!

U told me wat u wanted! i fought hopin to giv u somethin better, some more special! but in the end! i gave u wat u wanted originally! and then now! u show me somethin different! u tell em by ur actions this is not wat u wanted! I ran as far as i can from u! but u rent a motor bike and caught up wif me! I tried to kill myself wif fishballs! but u went out to eat all the fishball by urself! Y is it that no matter wat i do! it is always u who come to change it! i lyk owe u somethin last time lor!

No matter wat! i think maybe! is wo too smart liao! so think of things normally out of the box de! hiaz! this quote still rox! let nature take its course. i believe~ one day! just one day! everythin will turns clear.

my life

2009-07-15T22:34:00.002+08:00

Life had been quite good for me recently! u guys know y? cos im already lyk sort of familiarize wif all the ppl in my class, although name is still a big question marks for me.

Wat is life? to me i think life is lyk eatin food! sometimes u eat the tasty food but sometimes u are force to swallow those nasty and disgusting pills. Life is somethin we all nid to go throu~ it has it ups and its down. the onli different between different ppl is the way they see life! some thinks that their life is full of sorrow and tears! some thinks that their life is crap! some thinks that their life is lousy in all ways. For me! im glad that i have a peaceful life! and i think~ in my own opinion that is a good life! a really good one!

My goal is to introduce as much happiness and laughter to this livin world!
my dream is to have a happy family that dosent fite at all!
my vision is to eat all the things that are nice!
my life is to be happy at all times! and make ppl happy if i can!

foolish

2009-07-07T22:14:00.002+08:00

Went to matt's house for wrtorial project!finishin soon! porject after project! maybe this is poly's life. Recently, found out that no one is prefect and of cos, no one is in-prefect!

In my opinion! i think that all of the guys, animals, plants, all have unique ways of presentin themselves! take for example! i(bastard) always think that i can judge girl to the standard of beauty they contain, according to their looks and dressin! but i made a big mistake! Every man and woman were created beautiful,just that it is in different way! i used to say that those 3 girls in my class CMI-cannt make it! but i was terribly wrong! they do have positive parts that make them so beautiful!gorgeous!fabulous! and yep! they look stunnin when u think harder!

So! big sry to ani girl that i say CMI! Im too childish! too foolish! BIG BIG SRY! girls.

a little too not over you! (nice song)

2009-07-05T19:57:00.002+08:00

eh! my title in max tune had change from nice lookin to good frens! which is lyk more practical and suits me more la! nicer also! nice lookin will be a lie if im usin it right? haha! and a big thanks to jaiver ^^ thank you for teachin me log! and ln! if it werent becos of u, i really don know how am i suppose to do those assignments! so yeah! really! thank you! ah! before i forget... thanks for lettin me complete GEARS OF WARS! yeah! really a nice game! cannt promise not to play e second time!

seriously! I don know wat to post! i don know wat i should say! i don know wat i should do! i don even understand wat is the situation now la! how should i react? wat is it im suppose to show? how is it im expected to performed when things come to this? why is it that i feel this way! why is it that things must happen this way! why is that Im so....... Y is it that after all this time of freedom i must have that kind of tied down feelin again? responsibility? pride? ego? what is it that hit me so hard that i can nvr outrun you! wat is it that stop me from shakin of you and racin to another check point! did I even succeed in wat i had done this past few months! did i really surpass wat im supposed to surpass originally? can i still keep up wif this race? do i have the quality to continue this race? do i have the skill, the ability, the time and passion to keep up wif this race? there are things that are once in a lifetime! wat must i do to keep that passion burin and yet outrun u and froget everythin about you? wat is it that i lack of? just wat is it>?

confused.

any one seen likable or not? the k-drama? got ani link for that drama? i wan to watch so much! eh! when i was askin around for links about k-drama! i heard tons of interestin facts bout ppl who enjoy watchin k-drama! i share some of the things i found out wif ur all! most ppl watch k-drama mainly becos of one reason! k-drama have good love story! beautiful scene! plus scenarios that makes the act so dreamy, touchin, lovely! but! that is not all! i also found out that there are 3 main types of k-drama which ppl indulge in! eh! i explain. ppl lyk me will lyk to watch k-drama which are more towards the side of happiness! as in, the actors will smile more! althought tears in k-movie is quite inevitable! next is that kind of ppl who lyks to watch a mixture of happiness and sadness! and lastly! to my surprised! most s'porean are saddist! they enjoy watchin k-drama wif cryin scene throu out the entire drama! is lyk so WTF! love wif no laughter dosent hurts ur hearts meh? maybe not! put do hurts mine! i don know y ppl enjoy cryin throu out the entire drama then lookin at another one where they don nid tears but blessin for the couples in the act.

first type: 85% laughter 15% tears
second type: 50% laughter and tears
third type: 90% tears and 10% laughter

*which one will u wan to watch?

B'd

2009-06-28T21:20:00.005+08:00

Guys! thank you for makin my B'd such a memorable one! 3 days of celebration is finally over! yep! not lyin! serious! celebrate for 3 days wif different frens each day! Im now officially broke.It may sound stupid but wat make my B'd so memorable is the 3 days worth of celebration! and thanks alot guys! all those gift ur all gave me is so dam cool! cute..... memorable! thanks for the bears xiao zhu! and yep! thanks for the chocolates! im goin to be so obese after that! ya! thanks for the treat 4/4 guys! and thanks for the shirt! ys! but the size a little wrong! haha! ya! thanks for makin my B'd lyk a emperors' one, maybe more grant then that! lol! 3 days worth of celebration.... =.=! thanks for everythin guys.

Hope u guys found the real meanin in Max tune le bah guys! those slammin yet laughin and jeerin at the time when ur fren hits a lorry or head on to a wall! those xia-lan yet amusin ways u used to suan ur frens! those laughter... talks... we had after the game which is suppose to be a hateful one if not played wif frens! yes! that is wat i look for in max-tune! that is wat max tune is suppose to be! that is wat i had been chiongin my card for! that is wat these game suppose to make... fun and laughter for all of us! lol!

went to subway.... super disgrace! disgarce my parents, my ah. ma! ah.gong! and all of the chng. ancestors..... i tell u guys wat happen

let the shopowner be X(female) and i be Z

X:good afternoon sir! may i have ur order?
narrator:lookin at the sign board
Z: can i have THAT set of meal
X: sure! which bread u wan?
Z:huh?
X:the menu are on the side sir!!!
narrator:still unable to find
Z:anithin
x: will blah blah blah bread be fine?
Z:ya ya! sure!(fakin as if he knows wat is it)
narrator: X put some meat in the bread and some wateva....
X: do u wan it to be toast?
Z:huh?
X:tsk...
narrator:she toast it without askin Z and start servin other customers
X:wat vegetables do u wan sir?
Z:one toppin for $0.50? (tryin to be smart)
X:nope! free( givin me this expression =.=)
Z: can i have that 3!
X: sure(=.=) ani sauces?
Z:eh! chilli?
X:okay... animore?
Z:tomato?
X:tsk.. anymore?
Z:eh! wat do ur all have?
narrator:owner gone throu the sauce menu
X:mayonnaise
Z:okay! what biscuit do u wan?
X:(#.#)( givin the no idea face!) anithin...
Z:double chocolate?
X:will be fine
narrator: puttin the empty cup and passin Z his food!
Z:(thinkin that he really is veri smart) miss! u forget to giv me my drink!
X:(givin me the wtf face) pls top it up urself at the side!

super disgrace! felt lyk dyin! i so bloody suan gu la~! T.T

-jz

2009-06-25T23:03:00.005+08:00

Well! watched " dragged me to hell" today! i must say the first half was pretty scary, yep scare the ah beng who was #@$%$#%@ all the way durin the ah beng so that he can shut up and watch wat he paid to to watch. My conclusion after the movie is: help someone when u can! u nvr know how that little actions of ur can make a big different in someone else's life. maybe they just by allowin that old lady to loan for a few more month can save the main actress! u know, just that small action needed for the chop of approval.
when i get back! saw a young lady wif her kids on the pram! that kid probably contracted wif some disease! probably don disease that cannt let u stand! btw1 u know his hand,legs,collarbone was clearly visible! it is just like skin on top of the bones! my heart sank almost lookin at him. It feels lyk im so blessed to acquire that size and that someone in the same country as me actually wan my size but can nvr get it before of some reason! i don know y? but i feel that im really blessed! I feel that god has been too fair to me and too unfair to this youngs kids which should be on thier feets roundin around in circle not endurin all the pain and pressure given by the ppl till he dies. it is so unfair right? maybe! im too blessed! some ppl wan to get fat also cannt! yet i kua kua jiao myself fat! but seriously! really too fat le la! haha
to jaiver- eh! my b'd not lyk kings b'd just that i don wan all my fren to come together! some of them may not get used to it.

WR' B'd

2009-06-21T22:03:00.003+08:00

happy birthday weiren! 17 le wor! although onli 6 day faster then me -.-! yst, went to K-box to celebrate his birthday! eh! my first visit to K-box... erm! sang taiwan song(hokkien song), english song chinese song and alot more! had hell lots of fun! then got to some expensive restaurant to had our dinner! eh! seriously! i don lyk it! maybe becos i lao teochew don know how to enjoy or even appreciate this kind of food bah! but for me! the rips isnt nice! i prefer macdonald's double cheese burger instead of it! secondly! it is way to expensive! i rather eat in a coffee shop la! the funny thing is this! i got home and tell my brother about this.He say i so cheap-skate better don find girlfriend, find liao die ar! high class thing don know how to eat! everyday coffee shop, fishball noodles,chicken rice,hokkien mee she confirm gen ren pao!=.=! seriously got so bad meh? omg la! i must serioulsy go and learnt how to eat that kind of things liao lor!
Went off together wif jaiver after that! walk by singapore river! thinking thorough things and hearing recent gossip about some of my frens! yea love again! those who don wan see this or think im goin to crap can move ur cursor to the top-right hand corner! yes that X button! ya! press it! thank you!-.- EH! before i say anithin! ZY! sry! i couldnt accept it! i tell u why now! Im some "freakin swine" that believe if that if u wan to stead! u must giv in everythin to ur partner! ur love. u must spend most of ur time wif her, make her smile, show her u nid her, make her know that this is goin to go on and on, giv her everythin u can afford. Somehow! i have a very strong feelin that i will not be able to giv that to u!i cannt giv u 100%. i don wanna hurt u in aniway! aniway! there is still so much time in our poly life isnt it? lets make the full out from it don u think so? and if i ever feel that way, i promise i will never leave u!
I know it takes mammoth courage to say those three words! i said it before but i wasnt accepted! that time i went for real! i was willing to giv every single thing to her! soul,body,brain,cash, anithin... as long as she opens her mouth to ask for it! i wasnt given a chance. maybe she is thinkin exactly the same as wat im thinkin! "can i giv u all?" ..."can we last?"...."is this a crush or goin for real?"... seriously! i don know! pls give me some time to figure it out! AND THANKS UH! wth! PUBLIC leh! u might as well go down on ur knees also! jk! U wan to know why my reaction lyk that right! i tell u why! cos all the aunties in the freakin MRT heard u and turned to face me! haha! althought my ans wassss superrrrrr... stupid "wait uh! i think first!" seriously la! u say i fun to be wif, giv u sense of protection.... wth! i fun to be wif meh!-.-! all my frens say me kl-king leh! some even say xl-king! and the most stupid thing to say on earth la! lard not muscle wat sense of protection? lol! ur reason dam stupid lor! but seriously la! after wat u SAID on that MRT ride,i cannt sleep that nite la! in my heart is an-shuang de lor! is lyk so unbelievable la! but really leh! ps! i dare not accept it! maybe pig must still be wif pig and swan wif swan la! pig can nvr be wif swan de lor, in my point of view! tmr school start le leh! sleep well! not u not good! is i don deserve u at all!aniway! u are still my good sister! hao mei mei! sry! but u must agree im taller!
hahaha! i hope i did not hurt u in by tellin u this! but really bu hao yi shi!
270609~ who free? my B'D can come out? see this quickly contact me!i don think i will go aniwhere ex! i broke liao T.T! life's lyk that! -.-

past cannt be change
time will still move on
fate will determines those things
destiny will lay path for us
u will be the female hero
and me the male hero
future will unfold things for us
so let the clock go
and see how it will progress

2009-06-16T19:02:00.002+08:00

let's see! im now a official sub-comm of E2-matrix club! omg! don know wat is E2-matrix club? the club that is known for its collection of engine school chiobu! omg! im accepted! haha! the campin was hell lots of fun! Guys once u join poly, u will know the difference between a got budget camp and a no budget camp. no nudget camp includes camp food! but got budget camp replace it wif food hunt around singapore. no budget camp will have crappy activities like the fire drill to disturb u when u sleep, but got budget camp let u sleep in air-condition room all the way till 9 in the morning. no budget camp have confidence walk which are either lame or the ghost are dumb, but got budget camp change the landscape to a more scary one although the ghost also not scary. imagine eatin supper at 1 watchin movie at 11 and bathin anitime u wan! wat more can we ask for? omg! campin never seem so fun!
eh! yst got to pasir ris park for some BBQ wif my old school mate! one word to describe they all changed! all look so much mature and so much fitter of cos except me! -.- well! i must say shuwen look much nicer compare to the pass! maybe becos of the lightin but ya! got improve la! but still nid alot of improvement! lionel looks hall lot fitter, muscular! wow! good shape! envy envy! nvm! one day i will also have it (I HOPED ^^) minghan and adeline also! look more style and of cos CR, omg also maybe becos of the lightin he dosent have so much pimple which is lyk wow! look so much more handsome liao lor! dawn will ai shi ni! haha! well everyone except 2 had not change for the better! one is of cos me! a swine today, a swine yst and a swine the day after i think one year also not much change. got another guy go cut wat wild boar(maple) hairstyle omg! u not boar go copy them for wat! hiax! haha! heard all of ur all are doin well! great! that is the spirit.
JJ go jio ppl go out leh! u see la! i go out wif all my batch of frens liao accept ur all leh! go jio ur chelsea, snowwhite, sylvia, yeow boon leh! my holiday almost up le leh! u don jio then nid to wait liao le leh! come'on man! birthday is commin~ not hopin for it to come becos the chicken rice auntie call me uncle instead of ah boy! omg la! i know i got the shape of a 40 years old uncle but also don nid call me lyk that mah! die le la! ppl say my face nvr change u know y? cos the meat cover all the wrinkles so cannt change -.- win le lor! haha! miss all of u guys wish that all ur wishes come true.

never had a dream come true
till the day that i found u
-jz

2009-06-06T07:45:00.003+08:00

WOW! yesterday was a super duper tirin nite! cos it was CER bbq! well! didnt go home last nite cos didnt manage to make it back by cab! no choice nid to wait for bus! poor ppl is lyk that de!
yst! manage to spend sometime myself by the beach! tot throu alot of things! tell u hor! i feel lyk my life dam dramatic leh! maybe im dramatic la! i don know leh! this mornin right! when i was takin bus to east coast park! i saw one pair of couple just sittin right in front of me. that guy gave the girl a necklace sia! the girl was lyk so bloody happy, then the guy suddenly say! this is the last time i will give u this kind of things! wah breakup sia! then the girl was lyk diam diam then keep rubbin her eyes! i think she is cryin la! poor thing lor! when i see that my heart sink! i felt lyk... if love make u choose to be wif the girl! then no matter wat u must hold on to the girl until the end mah! its not lyk one necklace will solve everythin or wat lor! so dam irresponsible! if u cant give ur 100% wat for stead? if u stead wat stop u from givin ur 100%? i don see the point la! hate flirts now! hate flirts in the past! and hate flirt in the future! cos they are sucker who dosent appreciate or even respect this word love! love is actually a great word which carries a simple meanin! somehow they just don see it
best still at nite right! the beach is filled wif couples leh! then u see them huggin each other! whisperin to each other ears! holdin hands and swingin in the moonlight! wah! actually for me that is already lyk the most happy thing on earth already la!of cos i felt happy for them! see all their sweet smiles, see all their hugs! omg! it is lyk i can also feel the presence of love all around me la! and yep! im also a little jealous.... cos until now still none! -.-!
my personal views on love is that! it is a great word wif simple meanin and have extraordinary abilities to change things! erm! i don know about ur all but! the ability to love and to care for someone is the best thing god had given me!

-jz
*extreme sports is on next next week matt! rmb! don ps me

2009-05-30T21:06:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! long time no see~ how are all of u doin? i really miss some of u guys... erm! marcus! eh! kunlong! eh! edwin! and alot more but im lazy to list it out. well! for some of them who keep askin for my exam,1-4june! but i will not be free for the first and the second week of june holiday!so if u wanna go out wif me! find a slot after that~ u know...." a friendly swine, is a popular swine" haha! okay! just to clarify! mathematics is killin me! wah!FUNCTION is super hard and vector is no where easier! dam sucks! lol! feelin dam bad makin matthew stay back after school to teach me maths! okay! after ur tutorial, things are a little clearer but overall I still catch no balls.

SRY ar matt! shouldnt have made u wait for me to eat first before teachin me! totally didnt considered the fact that u may be rushin for time. so dam sry bro! next time i know wat to do le! sry for this time! I know im bein very selfish but hope u will forgive wat i did! afterall i know u are not that petty afterall! cos u are "austrailian" and "austrailian" shldnt be unforgivin! haha! so pls forgive this little "singaporean" here.

erm! Dawn ar! lol! i apologize for havin excel in my laptop yet unable to help u! cos my microsoft excel is a TRIAL version! lol ps la! really dam ps! eh! next time if u nid my help i=and i can be of ani help pls look for me! i will try my best to help u solve the problem! but aniway happy chiongin of homework! ^^

eh! my life still nth special! eh! i still look lyk a pooh! and im still tryin hard to make myself look less lyk one! okay! that's about my life! extreme sport i commin! and don forget insane nite cyclin event! anione interested to visit old changi hospital at ani of the nite durin june holiday? i wan to go take a look of it myself! and one last thing before i sign out! JZ is officailly broke now and is goin to bankrupt! pls kindly don ask him to go out to ani high calss places to eat or wat! ty! don tempt him cos u know he cannt take temptation. A foolish boy that belive in world peace! and a boy belive that one day everythin will be prefect for him.

Belive and fite for it!
it is better to die tryin!
then live regrettin!
world peace!
tmr the world will be a better world.

-jz

2009-05-24T23:56:00.002+08:00

Eh! maple today! okay! boring! lol! yesterday nite game until 4 in the mornin! then of cos sleep la! but somethin special happened when im sleepin! yep1 i had a dream! a very stupid but yet lovely dream! ok! i clarify, when i used the word lovely it is not = to lustful dreams ok. Im a failure in wet dreams okay! nvr had one before since i was born till now! how i wish someday, i will understand the meanin of bein wet.
erm! the dream is of cos! about somethin pleasant la! yep! don nid guess above love which i lack in! haha! i nvr know dreamin could be this good! aniway! if u onli wan to know wat im dreamin u can stop lookin for it cos i will nvr post it~ it is my secret afterall. hmm! i wonder if she is doin well! still lyk before? still so forgetful and always jam things up at the very last mins? haha~ missin u! do u miss me? i doubt so.
hey JJ! don be sad! girls( not all but some) are lyk that. one day, just that one prefect day, u are goin to find someone that loves u more than anithin on earth! and u are goin to spend e rest of the life wif her! shower her wif all the love and concern u can giv. u will stand up and ask her " are u willing to marry me?" u will live strong wif ur nvr fadin love. and she will prosper under ur tremedous care and concern! u will make her the happiest woman on earth and she in return will make u the happiest fool on earth! she will treasure u! miss u! kept on thinkin of u! and most importantly, love U! she will know how great u are and cover wateva flaws u have! she will sees all ur positive points and bring force those points to shine! she will be the girl to change u! consume ur flaws and ake u into a more prefect person! she will be out there to change u! care for u! dream of u! touch u! hold u! and most make it wif u till the world ends! so my buddy! don be dishearted by anithin now1 cos someday! sometimes! somehow! somewhere! u are goin to meet that special someone who will finish this some-story wif u!

-jz

2009-05-24T00:53:00.002+08:00

Wonderful day for me guys! hope it is the same for ur all also! erm! let see! yst nite, got to victoria concert hall to catch a choir performance by one of my old fren.
I must say, even a music idiot like me feels that the singing and dancin is superb! it was lyk wow! Ok! seriously! i don know what they are singin but it soothes the ear and some of the performer are really dam funny! i was lyk laughin my way through when that guy was on the stage! fun and enjoyable!
Well! Well! y am i so happy today? i really don know. it is just lyk, the sun comes out at the right time and the wind hits my face at the right pace. food taste nice, pooh looks cute! everythin seems so prefect for me today.
exam is comin and and i totally catch no balls for mathematics la! dam sian lor! wat to do? tmr chiong study lor! plus ckt, Dfund omg! all seems so difficult to me la! sianz! matthew! next week meet for exercise! ok1 i think that is about it! nites.

2009-05-13T22:35:00.004+08:00

love is in the air! LOVE is in the air! Love is in the air! omg!until now i still sense that love is all around us! and yea! isnt that somethin to be happy about? haha! okay! busy wif project and self-study! wth! lecture to me is lyk a complete waste of time, cos i don understand wat the lecturer is sayin and i don understand wat the book is sayin la! so ani kind hearted soul, pls enlighten me wat the lecturer failed to do.

Y? y? u suddenly so strange to me? y suddenly u act lyk that? wat is it i have done? y u want to show me attitude? y is it that i must always be at a losing end no matter wat i do? but no matter wat, seriously, take care! i wan to share ur burden... but i cant do so animore! so pls, take care, got ani things nid me to help then call me bah! don worry! everything will be back to normal very soon! everything will be fine very soon.until then really pls, take care of urself.

wah! today give up sit for old ppl on a bus leh! nvr knew that doin good deeds can actually give u happiness! haha! my new target! do good deed, be a man better then myself( im comin). know the importance of parental love! cherish it and play along wif it, it is wise to protect it when u still have possession of it! until every thing is too late! so! listen to ur parents more! they wun harm u aniway! paternal love is something very great indeed. I wan to be a better man.

Im trainin dota1 but still a noob in it! aniway! i will become better! okay! some reply's... wendy- i don know y u sms me weird weird things but don worry, i make fren wif u cos i accept who u are! and although u got flaws in ur character, u still make up a pleasant young growin lady, so pls! don be so negative of urself!
sweewoon- I don know how? and i really crackin my brain to think wat kind of crap u are up to now? hope nth stupid!
yingsiew- thinks will just get better, relax!
JJ- wei wei wei! u got me into deep shit le la! stop wat u are doin now! i demand it!
eric- i hope the two of u best of luck and, friday things make up ur mind soon!

that's all nites!

2009-05-10T00:45:00.002+08:00

Eh! tonite is the nite before mother day, and obviously i cant sleep! u know y? cos i haven bought my mother a gift. omg! i still tot mother day was next next week lor! sianz! tmr go out eat wif her don know buy wat la! intending to buy roses but my mr.ting fren said that roses are for gays( he is one also) he told me to buy bird nest! yea! more realistic! but I am sure that in the end it is me who will drink that bird nest not her! it is lyk... i buy how many time liao le la! omg! i don know wat to buy lor! sianz!

Haha! max tune wif frens are seriously fun lor! u see even jem agrees to that! sometimes life is not about winnin, sometime losin will also bring u happiness and laughter. Heehee! on my way to become the happiest person on earth! I let down my greatest burden le! yea! i don wan kind of weird relationship wif her le! just normal frens! life without her is seriously much more happier and fulfilling. So guys! no more love poem le! don come here expecting to steal one! but of cos la! if ur all lyk my works so much, u can always sms me to write another one especially for u! fren 25% discount, good fren 50% discount... U know sometimes... ppl address me mr shakesphere! omg! i dam ps la! is lyk! i know im so clever but don nid to address me until lyk that de right! they should just address me prof. chng! that one more friendly lor! shakesphere life is hard!

eh! i hate poly! i prefer go back secondary school lor cos poly's lesson dam boring... plus they talk wat thing i also don understand! i used to think lecture is fun but not now animore~ lecture is borin super borin! I love the indian teacher la!
he cycle to school lor! he is lyk all those contractor lyk that but he is a proff sia, ren bu ke mao xiang! btw! today sms u guys somethin bout e personality test thingy!
here is the result:

1)if someone says that the thing he or she wants to steal is money! he/she is materialistic and onli be fren wif u cos he/she find that they can make use of u!

2)if someone says that he/she wans to steal ur face or valuables(other then money) he/she is jealous of u and unhappy wif their life!

3)if someone wish to steal ur eyes,heart or dream from u! he/she probably lyk u and wan to be on the look out for everythin that hurts u! and also he/she will try to prevent anithin bad to happen to u!

4)if someone wans to steal ur favorite thing from u( other than human) he/she will lyk to be wif u as long as possible.

5)if someone loves to steal everythin from u! he/she is probably unhappy about her life or he/she wans to be exactly lyk u!

6)if someone wish to steal ur tears and unhappiness from u! he/she is probably ur best fren/BGR on earth!

7)if someone wishes to steal nth from u! they are comfortable wif u!

8)AND if someone says u got anithin worthy of me stealin... -.- he or she IS either tryin to act cute or very confident in their life.

9)if someone wish to steal ur soul! that means he/she will lyk to love u for as long as it takes!

10) if someone wans to all those harmful things around u! he/she probably dosent wan u to get hurt in anithin!

11) of cos got other ans la! if they giv other ans! u can leave a tag here! i will reply u! 100 plus plus ans leh! i don wan to write out all.thats all nites.

2009-05-06T00:31:00.002+08:00

tagged reply: JJ- crazy! i where got despo! no girl then no girl lor wat to do?
kl- seriously! i don rmb i got ani photo i take which is nicer then that! haha!

ok! today! life was good as usual.my "dear" boy ask me shit question about my blog and my om that is why im writing now to help him kill his boredom and clarify his thoughts. Okay! Im single! and i don have any one in my mind yet! it will be great if u can introduce me some girls which can be frens wif me. As for my personal message, Im writing it out of joy because i felt that it is both interesting and yet nice! no comment! plus for the girl thingy, she isnt in tp and i don thing u will know her so be a good boy and don come fan me over such minor stuff.

Asked by some of my frens about my standard for girls. if u lyk to know, no ah-beng looking,hate fierce girls, don nid veri cute, don nid veri gorgeous, don nid veri rich but i don mind if she is that kind of sua-gu type! most importantly i must lyk her and she must of cos accept me of who i am lor! that all. high expectation meh? so next time ur all see me walk on street wif a girl or hold hand wif a girl, u probably can imagine how the hell she will look lyk right? haha!

okay! stop talking bout girls! YW! gratz on becomin 825hp.me still 820hp. jaiver talked to me bout max tune today, seriously1 i nvr took max tune seriously before. I took it more as an enjoyment and bridge to built a communication wif frens. I no sure how ur all feel la! but for me, when i play, even if i lose, as long as i am happy, i lyk it. U don always have to be the winner to be happy, sometimes that satisfied look on ur frens face or some xialan yet humourous comment they gave is much more worth then the money i sped on that machine. Bein a key to my fren is wat i look for rather then bein a key to the game. afterall, wat for game if u are not happy! u are satisfied and im happy that i actually satisfied u! wat more is better then that!aniway! who wanna play max tune can call me lor! ur all also know my skill la1 sure lose de! but im free for challenge! oh yeah! today lost to A5 by 53m on osaka! omg! he really noob! his drivin style should be on grans tismo not max tune! full break then turn! wth! i brush here brush there still can catch up lor!

homework is fine for me! and i heard alot of u guys are doin dam well! yea1 happy for ur all! well! miss some of the popualr frens! snow white! chelsea! yuwen! yeow boon! liyan! wanlin! joyce! wendy! and most important and big shot one! Junjie! ^^! hipe all of u are doin fine and best wishes from me! btw! meet one day go out together leh! don one tell me exam another watch taiwan drama then some even tell me BUSY! wth! liar lor! cannt make time for me is it! i make time for u guys leh!

Btw! i am reading Ichigo 100% for the third time! u know y? because the story is dam interesting la! not because im despo to see comic girls panties for god sake! btw! they drawn tojo in a super cute manner la! and i really love that kind of personality she is havin! those kind of stupidity with a litte of innocence and cuteness... omg! it is lyk she is so prefect lor! and pls for god sake if u got the time! go read the manga! the story really interest me! see for urself y something so simple is made so difficult, a love so pure is made so hard! and i think mandaka loves tojo aya not the others girl! fortunate guy! but indecisive but maybe because he didnt wan to hurt the girls bah! aniway! nice manga! read it guys! don be faggot! feel the love roamin inside u! yea! link:www.onemanga.com go to all then scroll down under i then find the goddam manga!

with u or without u,
life must still go on!
if a life without u was given to me
i will leave wif it and be happy...
because life is all about bein happy!

2009-05-03T17:52:00.002+08:00

Haha! got one silly girl ask me a silly question~ Y are u so happy everyday? am i? do i look happy? can i still be happy without her? i always doubt this question, until recently, I must put an end to all my silly hopes of you ever becoming wat i always wanted u to be.I really lyk to be with you~ wan to stay by ur side and shower u from all the harms in the ever-changing world.... but things are not the same from the past.
U changed dam lot until Im not sure anymore if it is the "her" Im looking for. maybe i should just let things go and comes at its own pace, maybe she should be given a chance or maybe... Im just a all talk no work idiot but one thing that is for sure! until u change, I will nvr lyk u animore!

love is the heart in me
U are the one that keeps it pounding.
everything has stopped now!
maybe that is wat we are looking for at the start
No matter wat~ be happy!
a life without laughter is a life better off dead~

whahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahha!

2009-04-29T00:08:00.001+08:00

emotionally unstable

2009-04-27T23:21:00.005+08:00

Lol! sry la! yingsiew... sry that i didnt wait for ur turn for the dramatec audition! but seriously! really!! seriously!!! I think even if u acted.... base on wat I know U will not make it! cos their actin is too good le! me too will not make it! cos i am actors that will shine onli in confusion state. haha! so don be a xiaoqi gui and be so happy over that! In fact be gald that jem is willin to go there and wait for u! oh yea! Btw! don balme everyshit on me! cos i did nth wrong. they don wan to wait is their problem, don make a big fuss wif me!for godness sake! Im not even inside the goddam conflict between the two of you la! and hor! not that i wan to make a big fuss out of it la! IT's just that don u think it is very funny? U got released earlier as compared to wat u told me the nite before and u actually came to a conclusion that ur early dismissal was my fault! lol! u dam cute lor! Still can say " then whose fault? teacher's fault? my fault? of cos ur FAULT la!" that instance i stoned....
BTW! I hate rumours la!kao! scare the shit out of me! yea! i know miss.w here is a good girl! just that she is exactly i duplicate copy of me! lousy luck in love~ but whoever the idiot that started this shit rumour should keep quiet and stop it le lor! cos even thou miss.w is a easy go lucky kind of person but if ur all continue to do that, U not onli dmg her reputation of bein wif a SWINE lyk me u will also not knowinly hurt her in her heart! this kind of inhuries are hard to recover la! as in from my point of view la! worst to the worst... later talk talk talk~ not happy here not happy there~ then take out all this shit to fite! so the best solution to prevent all that from happenin is u or whoever to stop it lor!U know it is for her good! for ur good and of cos for me to have a trouble free nite(bein selfish here) cos I have not gotten over her yet u know? but soon~ I will. I will soon be free again!
Swine flu! wth! all becareful leh! heard can kill de leh! pork must eat put don come in contac wif raw meat la! better be safe then sorry right! BTW! CKT is super hard la! digital fundermental also! kao! gate here! gate there! inverse gate? Or gate? kao! all looks the same to me! siao liao la! i mus chiong studies liao! don chiong will die! WA! rainin now! I love rainin days! but also hate it too! cos whenever it rains! my heart felt so light i felt lyk im flyin! the smell of the rapid evaporation from the first few droplets of the rain! the dark clouds reddish sky! wat else is more beatiful then that! take a few sip of the hot coffee.... wa! feel those warm liquid gently flowin down ur throat.... wa! suddenly felt so energise.BUT i hate those heavy rain out there cos i can see a image of u inside those heavy pourn water droplets! i did promise u that i will do somethin every rainin day~ but wasnt given the chance to! haha! aniway! wish u the best of luck! and yea! Ilovetherain

Mr A: Look in the sky...
Miss A:?
Mr A: count the number of star there is~
Miss A:y?
Mr A: just do it( wif a smile)
Miss A:1234...5..8..15...19..23
Mr A:23?
Miss A: yea.do U wan to tell me that each star stand for the love u have for me?
Mr A:NO.
Miss A: then?
Mr A:Have U ever wonder wat makes the stars glowin bright?
Miss A: the dark plain sky?
Mr A: yea! and that dark sky is wat everyone sees....
Miss A: wat about the stars?
Mr A: the star is wat ur parents sees in you!
Miss A:Oh! so wat about U?
Mr A: I see nth!!!
Miss A: so that is wat im to u( turn her head and walk off)
Mr A:(shakin his head) I havent finish my sentence... tsk... I see nth BUT you...

taken from one of shakesphere greatest work
-jeremy wee

2009-04-26T22:16:00.003+08:00

Wohohoho! Im so dam super hyper today~ don ask me y! cos Im lyk that! No don think i take ecstasy! i didnt! Im a ecstasy myself! haha! i love pooh! i love pooh! i love my GOD DAM pooh! yea! world peace! CER roz! frens roZ! parents roz! neighbour roz! she roz! wohohoho....! super hyper ar!!!!!!!!
alright! some update on my life! yea!yea! don nid laugh! i got some god dam indian who is used to speakin INDIA-english to teach me ckt! wa! ur answer correct he shake his head! ur answer wrong he oso shake his head! but mai siao siao leh! ppl dr. grade leh! i heard, ppl in india squeeze cow milk in the money then chiong their studies at nite leh! super hardworkin la! it is onli they don have the same enviroment as us or else i think singapore sure got alot of top positon giv this kind of blackie take! mai siao siao hor! don go disturb those throw rubbish or cut grass de bangla... who know maybe they got a degree grade and Im still strugglin wif my diploma... they are smart and super hard workin guys, it is just that they are not givin the chance! hiaz! i so lucky.... aniway! back to the topic! the indian really dam funny la! he is teachin me ckt but i keep on think that he is sellin me roti prata then keep on askin me "roti prata kosong or wif eggs?" omg! laughin throu the lesson althought he nvr makes jokes la! his look lyk indian bunni sia! dam hao siao! the best thing is his slang! kao! he ask me understand? i still tot he ask me y i sms? ..... -.-
ok! as all of u know my comm teacher is a blonde! anione don know my eng standard? if u don i tell u! CMI!!!!!!! wow! imagine sittin inside a class wif one of the most spoken languages but don understand quite a number of wat she said! wth! her vocab is lyk so chim la! keep on use phrase! best thing is speak lyk a machine gun! i wan ask her slow down but scare ps! i ask me fren.... but my fren tell me simple eng don understand meh! WA! where got simple sia! she speaks lyk a dictionary la! dam hard to understand la! at least speak a little DJ wat la! kao! speak lyk u nvr heard hurt singlish before! singapore leh..... Passin that crappy subject anot will determines alot if i understand wat she is sayin! Im supposed to ask alot of question! but half of my question are not answered cos i don know wat the hell she is tryin to portray la! zeng hu ar! y in poly also got eng de!
U dam crazy! really dam crazy! if u wan me to be onli frens wif u, can u talk in a more correct way! kao! Im forcin myself into not belivin wat Im seein.... serious! that was too off la! y not just say it lyk a normal conversation! y wan to Add in some sensitive things... then later i wrong idea! u scold me! kao! talk properly la! but yea! u are very very very very fun to sms! super duper fun la! lol! relaxin to sms u! haha! misses u! hope u are doin well! and yes! use ur heart to see! not ur mind! not ur dream! and of cos not ur eyes! btw! Im driftin away! hahahaha! wun turn back lyk wat some smart alec did! maybe maybe~ i will! but until now still no thots of it yet!!!! wei! no matter wat happen! Im still ur fren! TC of urself wor! maybe that is all i can tell u from wat i am now! no matter wat! BE happy! oh yeah!!!!!!
I love pooh! i love pooh! i love pooh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wat make me so happy?
dota?
pooh?
sleep?
shoppin?
family?
or you?
no matter wat! Im happy! yea! happy! super crazy today!

new chapter of my life~

2009-04-19T22:46:00.003+08:00

sittin down by the beach this evenin! tot throu alot of things~ happy moment! and sad times! gentle gush of the wind kisses my face~ starin at those large cruiser floatin their way across the sea. somehow I felt as if time had stopped. Popped some M&M into my mouth, those sweet meltin candies reminds me of her! yea! those great moment of fantasyI had wif her! haha~ but she is gone for now! looked across the wide wide sea.... lights! those light looks so beautiful, calmin my tense feelin as if tellin me nth else will bother me animore! as if all my hopes will come to reality~ as if u are lyin right beside me... haha! that feels great! the sun yawned and the sky slowly darken, the wind grew stronger... soon enuff the plain plain sky is coated wif red! rainin? i tot. Memories of how we try so hard to be together, those efforts we put in! those time we spend! those tirin yet fun time we had... maybe Im not good enuff for u! or maybe U are not good enuff for me! or maybe there isnt maybe at all!I felt out of breath and decides to relax my mind. i took a quick glance around me. there was nth except an uncle bringin his young girl for a walk by the beach.... those sweet smile and cute looks of her reminds me of ur laughter! i MISSED it! and i can nvr forget it no matter wat happen! TMR is the day where i will have to forget everythin and enter the next chapter of my life~ a chapter without U ! a chapter where eveythin will be new! a chapter where all the definition of sweet dream will change! A chapter where i can be myself again! I think lettin things go is one hardest things to bein a grown up! i really don feel lyk growin up! i don know if i can move on... but.............there is no more but!

Took a look at my watch! 830pm! stood up.walk away from the beach. turn my head and said wat a good nite spent! TP! CER! Im chiongin to U! ^^ heavy bag! hiaz!

2009-04-16T23:26:00.002+08:00

2 days after the orientation. TWO words to describe my feelin... SIANZ and even more sian.... althought the mass dance was super duper fun! but the icebreaker just sucks, imagine sittin down in a class room playin that kind of game and doin forfeit for one whole day.... wa! will die man! don ask me y! but my class onli got 4 girls leh! kao! cant even make it to let me enjoy a different view every day la! but the guys are fun! got quite a number of shuai ge! mei nuii.... sadly don have!~ mentor is shuai!!! some mentors are chio!!! dam cute la! onli if i have their looks and shape... -.- lets hope that everythin will be fun! engines roxz!!!! *.*

Somethin cannt be forgotten but somethin must be! for me~ i chose to let u fly? maybe that is all u wan!!! and i am not sad or emo about it! pls don say Im. ty

Is that wat u call friendship?

2009-04-13T23:36:00.003+08:00

PLS stop doin this guys! it is not that Im sidin him or watever but it is way to ASS! for ur all to treat him lyk that. He may be wrong... very wrong, but no matter wat he is still some guys i truly look up to~ at least he isnt that kind of guy that would gossip at ur back talk rot about U and thinkin that everythin is untold to the victim.... He protects friends~ try to be close to them~ try to create bonds between them~ althought he may have attitude problem but at least... at the very very least, he put in the very effort to try and I think that is veri admirable. He may be a big idiot who don know how to talk and choose the words he use, but if U really sit down and think, all those things that he said are quite true to some of us~ it's just that we guys dosent wan those critism to come out from his mouth. (unholy aura) i must say but pls! we must try to giv him a chance to get near to us or nothin will ever change and without changes, no one is gonna get happier then the other if this kind of things continues...

Are u guys really so happy that someone ur race, ur type, ur classmate is bein push to the corner and left out all alone? wat if u are in his shoes? wat will u do? can u handle that kind of stress or dislike everyone is givin him? are u sure u can pretend that nothin had happen and continue to move on lyk normal? can u really stay in a group of frens knowin that alot dislike him? Is this wat we are suppose to giv him? Is he given a chance to change? Can he really be so hateful that we must treat him lyk that? well ask urself about it... but one things that is for sure! he really feel sucky inside and i got that kind of feelin when one of my past best friend left me.... it really hurts and sucks!

Does jumpin down and die solve everythin? are u sure u are dead without regrets? pls don tell me that u wan to die or wat! yea! ppl may treat u that way, ppl may not lyk ur presence, ppl may not lyk u at all! but have u ever think of it. Y the hell will they think of that? y the hell would they ever do that? where does the problem lies on? have u ever really thought of those things and see wat u can do to make things better? do u really wan to know where ur problem lies? do u really wan to change it? yea! did those thing ever come across ur mind? and btw! friendship is not as easy as i playin xbox, it is impossible to get everyone to lyk u or agree to u! but all u really nid is that one or two "true" friends that will never leave u behind no matter wat will happen to them.... that is wat i call friendship! rather then havin a large number of friends where i cannt turst ani of them at all! i rather have one who can understand how i feel and will always be there when needed. YEA! i do know for myself who are my "true" friends and who are wolfs and foxes behind a sheep clothin! Im not a dumbass that doesnt know wat is goin on... I know who hates me and are puttin a mask in front of me! i know who bad mouth me! i know who badstab me! but wat is the point even if i point them out and cut all ties wif them? wat i nid is guys that will really stand by my side and be wif me no matter how shit the situation maybe! i think u should do that do! maybe that is the best thing u should try to do!

To me Friendship is not about comin together and makin as much friends as possible because of common topics and games! but friendship is a really indepth learnin of a person's personality and the willingness level of u to offer ur help if ever the person needs it! it is not about the number of friends u had make because of anithin u had in common but the amount of "sister or brother" u had made because of the way u treat them and the way they treat u! tapped within ur heart to find the friends who really care about u! and yet try to change the way others think about u by showin changes! only then will u be likeable~ as disney-winne the pooh. changes speaks the loudest! no point beon gloomy! be happy most importantly!

*Ps! if i mentioned anithin that will make ani of u unhappy. i apologise if i did mentioned anithing unfavorable. plus all these postin are my own views! u may not have to agree wif me. but pls no matter wat giv those who are wrong a second chance! that will really help them alots...
don ask me y i post this shit! cos i got nth to post obivously! haha! nites!

-by jz =D

movin on!

2009-04-11T20:33:00.002+08:00

Everythin will and had come to an end! there is no point in tryin so hard to saviour it or change it... I've come to a situation where tears don change a thing and all of the tryin are pointless also meaninless in my point of view. No matter how hard i called out for ur name, how hard i wan u by my side, how hard i wan to hold u or how hard i cried things just don get better for me.

I don have regrets, i don have tears, i don have the abilitly to make u mine.... but i have sweet memories that will forever stay wif me until the very last of my breath.I once heard of this sayin, don complain if u don get it, but be contended cos u once had it, very true indeed. Those smile that u gave me, those warmth gentle looks, those laughter that u cried out when u are wif me, those fun we had when we are in our own world, I will never ever forget it.

When i know u chose to be free, don wan to be tied down to me anymore, iFelt despair not knowin wat else i can do becos everythin seems too late... I love u more then money,want u more then ani desires and wishes to be wif u more then anyone u know~i don wanna stop u becos when i think about it... i just want u to be happy.thats all.

I knew this day will come sooner or later... someday, sometime, someway... U are goin to do that to me! i lyk u! i really lyk u alot~ so do moved on! do watever u wan, keep runnin and don look back if that is all u wan. blesses from the angels, love from the god and wishin from me will make u strong.... no matter wat u become, pls rmb that i love u from the bottom of my heart. movin on even it means that hit me the hardest....

i have no regrets,
no tears
no feelin of despair,
but~
happiness, laughter and love
becos that is wat u really wan...
BE free. be wateva u wan.
however u wan.
most importantly be happy~ dearest ...........

2009-04-02T20:48:00.002+08:00

seriously! i don quite get wat some girls and woman are thinkin! U help them also hate u! U help them also sack U! U help them also scold U! just wat the heck are these opposite sex thinkin~ Im helpon u to find wat u lost and brood about~ i try so hard just because i wan to see U bein happy, see u smile once again without worry! let u be the happiest person on earth..... even thou all that might be just for a split second! i tried all my might~ squeeze all my brain juice and almost all my resources to exchange for ur happiness.... instead of a thanks or anithin~ U told me I HATE U! and don talk to me~ so wat is so wrong for doin that? i didnt hurt him! didnt hurt u! just wanted to help u recover ur lost feelin.... This few days, when i msg u and u stop returnin my msg! i was greatly sadden and lost! just wat is it that I've done that u must hate me so much? I totally don know wat is there so much to be angry about!!! I don know wat else to say..... dam disappointed!

that mad woman out there! WTH! funfair ar! u nid us that treat us good! don nid us then send us home! when i think about u i dam angry! angry until wan to pian u! tell us wat cut course! then go hired two ppl to sub us! U think we so dumb until cannt do plus and minus ar? u really think we so dumb let u scam until we don know~ kao! u really sucks! really really sucks! U lyk that treat ur collegues! Im not lyin~ one day u will get all this back~ wan to sack then giv proper reason la! say wat cut cost! so fake! so ass! so chicken ass! U are a nig evil ass! just wat the hell are u thinkin! shit ur thinkin! shit ur actions! shit ur plannin! u suck to the core of the earth! NB!

help u house work u scold! don help u house work u also scold! wateva i do u will scold! dam pek chek~ ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Y all of u make me so stress! wakao! really tired and sad, speechless wif some of u! hiax! do u know ur words are more influencial then teacher? then parents? then god? but Y are u always the one who will make me upset not them? Y is it that makin someone happy seem so hard even it means throwin in almost everythin? Y is it U will still get shit thing after U threw in everythin? Y is it when u make and effort she still scold? PUZZLED and confuse! ._____. moody! hiaz

2009-03-28T23:55:00.002+08:00

Write the names of 21 friends you can think off the top of your head, and then answer the questions. Say you're guessing if you don't know, but at least guess on all of them. After doing this, tag your 21 friends to do the same.

1. jem
2.marcus
3.weiren
4.jaiver
5.jinghan
6.edwin
7.yingsiew
8.jermaine
9.dawn
10.eric
11.lionel
12.kovit
13.chelsea
14.junjie
15.yuwen
16.carol
17.CT
18.jovey
19.zhiyun
20.weijie
21.chongrong

PLS! ignore about the blog shit!

-how did you meet 7 ?
in school(yingsiew)

-What would you do if you and 15 had never met?
worry about who to change shift wif(yuwen)

-What would you do if 20 and 1 dated?
bless thire GAY life a peaceful one (jem & weijie)

-Have you ever seen 17 cry?
yes!(CT)

-Would 4 and 16 make a good couple?
obviously! no!(jaiver & carol)

-Do you want to be 13's friend forever?
Of cos! depends! eh! should be(chelsea)

-Do you think 11 is attractive?
in a particular way! yes(lionel)

-What's 5's favorite color?
white or black(jinghan)

-When was the last time you talked to 9?
last friday?(dawn)

-What language does 8 speak?
eng,chinese, act cute language!haha! jkjk(jermaine)

-Who is 13 going out with?
she denys! but i think is some hunks(chelsea)

-What grade is 16 in?
uni(carol)

-Would you ever date 17?
will! the day when i think that life is no more fun(CT)

-Where does 18 live?
tampines(jovey)

-What is the best thing about 4?
eh!slow lor!(jaiver)

-What would you like to tell 10 right now?
so long liao! u still so gay(eric)

-What is the best thing about 20?
wan suan me but suan lose me lor(weijie)

-Have you ever kissed 2?
yep!(marcus)

-What's the best memory you have of 5?
eat wang zai! and he pay for it(jinghan)

-When's the next time you're going to see 4?
not sure(jaiver)

-How is 7 different from 6?
boy and girl(yingsiew & edwin)

-Is 2 pretty?
handsome to be correct(marcus)

-What was your first impression of 15
smart girl(yuwen)

-How did you meet 3?
school(weiren)

-Is 15 your best friend?
all of them is my best frens(yuwen)

-Do you hate 12?
no(kovit)

-Have you seen 18 in the last month?
yea(jovey)

-When was the last time you saw 16?
today(carol)

-Have you been to 5's house?
yea(jinghan)

-When's the next time you'l see 10?
next gym(eric)

-Are you close to 11?
no(lionel)

-Have you been to the movies with 4?
yes(jaiver)

-Have you gotten in trouble with 8?
no(jermaine)

-Would you hug 19?
no(zhiyun)

-When have you lied to 3?
none(weiren)

-Is 11 good at socializing?
yes(lionel)

-Do you know a secret about 8?
yes(jermaine)

-Describe the relationship between 12 and 18.
friends(kovit & jovey)

-What's the best thing about your friendship with 9?
free pooh(dawn)

-What's the worst thing about 6?
nth(edwin)

-Have you ever had a crush on 12?
no(kovit)

-How long have you known 2?
very long(marcus)

-Have you ever been in a fight with 13?
no(chelsea)

-Does 11 have a bf/gf?
not sure(lionel)

-Have you ever wanted to punch 1 in the face?
in the ass yes(jem)

-Has 21 met your mother?
no(chongrong)

-How did you meet 11?
school(lionel)

-Did you ever accidentally physically hurt 3?
forget(weiren)

-Do you live close to 7?
no(yingsiew)

-What is 8's favorite food?
rojak?(jermaine)

-What kind of car does 1 have?
lol! too much cars(jem)

-Have you traveled anywhere with 9?
got(jermaine)

-if you gave 14 $100, what would he/she spend it on?
cigar(jun jie)

im so happy today

bo title

2009-03-24T22:13:00.003+08:00

Sometimes! i hope that god could change me into a small hut... a really really small one,so small until it onli hav 2 small window,1 small door,1 small room,1 small kitchen and 1 small toilet! So that i could shelter u from the fiercest storm... protect U from the dangerous wildlife.... and make u as comfortable and carefree as u are supposed to be...... Haha! I hate to see u gettin hurt and cryin ur soul out over anithin~ maybe that is the reason for me to wan to be a hut! I know i cannt provide U wif the kind of luxury u have when u are in a bigger hut or even mansion but i just wish that u will drop by this small hut of mine once in awhile! run here to sob when U are sad! run here to tell the walls U are extremely proud of somethin or another! run here when u are afraid! run here to take shelter when u know u have nothing to rely on!
Don ask me y i wan to do that! my girl! for u already know the answer! I know i am not that guy which will stay in ur bedroom and watch u sleep in a stormy nite but I cannt stop myself to be that guy who will wait quietly under the rain hopin that everythin will be fine! I know i will nvr be the guy who will share the same porcorn or drinks wif u durin a movie and i know that i will nvr ever be that one to hold ur hand and warmth it in the harshest storm~ but somehow I just refuse to belive it! haha!YEA! many said I am stupid! many said I am sturbborn~ but as long as u are happy! I am fine wif it!
I don dare to ask much from god! but i wish that he will giv u his blessin and make u sucessful in all u do! i think that will onli be my request to the god or ani diety~ WITH or without me! be happy =D that is all i ask for before i enter a new chapter of my life!

Some said love it is a river....
that drown the tendery~
Some said love it is it is a razor....
that rip ur soul to bled~
Some said love it is a hunger.....
and endless ppl sink in it~

I said love....
It is a flower....
That U is all it see!

It is that heart that is afraid of breakin...
the dreamt afraid of wakin.....
the one who is afraid of leavin....
and the song who is afraid of stoppin...

I think love is bein happy when~
U are standin there smilin happily like a....
fool .____.!

SMSED! wendy! she was doin great! good to hear it! hope u will always feel that great everyday! JJ mai quit! I don wan to be the sole boy there at popular la! dam gay leh! so strange la!later ppl mistaken me as auntie also how? don quit oky?

*chalet on 5-7 apr! interested parties asked marc for information! all invited!!! c(*@*)2 don be a loser! muz come hor!

I used to belive it is a prank! until i felt a sudden urge of jealousy!

2009-03-15T00:19:00.004+08:00

Girl! U know U sux!U really really sux! U wun leave me alone! u haunt me in both my reality world and my dream world! I don know Y! but i felt that i am trapped in ur prison unable to get out until recently! i decided to set myself free! Seriously! i don know Y i loved U! U don have looks that i lyk? no voice that i ask for? no character that i looked for? U're totally not my type!
BUT~ when i look at u smilin away~ i felt that nth more was more important then makin u happy! I felt that i muz make u smile forever this way! i felt that i am supposed to let u be happy forever this way! YEA! some call me insane,some tell me crush, and some tells me to giv it and let it go! but when u smiled~ everythin good or bad melts inside my heart!
just the nite before! I dreamt about U! U are very happy! wif alot of guys around u! i felt that I can finally let U go because U had found happiness! but when i was walkin away from u! i heard ur tears drippin and U sat on the cold hard floor and cried! My heart shattered as if I was hit by a million needles! I quickly turn back and wanted to rush to U! but my legs were rooted to the ground! I shouted out for U but U just kept cryin and cryin away! i heard my heart tearin apart! my mind roamin, lookin for a solution to end ur pain! I felt the sudden gush of wind which chill down to the very end of my backbone! I felt that I had done somethin so wrong! I ..fe.l..t.......lyk dyin~ but u just sat there and kept cryin!
I woke up! to find that my pillow was wet! I cried~ I nvr cried since i was in primary 2! and but now I did! I was so worry that any mishap will happen to U! i am so afraid that I cant see u anymore~ I am so scare that if somethin really happen to u....... wat should I do? I quickly changed my pillow case and get a refreshin shower. I sat down in front of the fan to air my hair dry and out of nothing, I started prayin for ur happiness, prayin for ur safety!
I look up at my koo-koo- clock! it was 6! I am so scared that i didnt dare to sleep animore! For the first time i am frighten~ to lose something i lyk so much forever! and that is U! my girl!

-jz

2009-03-03T00:00:00.002+08:00

I was ask by some of my fren why i lyk popular so much..... At first, my mind was in a complete mess! I don know how to answer his question!!! but after awhile~ I got this very clear sign in my mind y i lyk to work there! becos of U! yes U! all my frens in popular! althought we might not know each other long enuff.... but I had this great sense of belongin which emerge from the fun,joy and laughter we had for each others... and when i said fun! i meant real fun! U guys know all those gatherin lyk karoke trips so on and so forth! although, this trips are meant for relivin stress but unknowingly these kind of trips also serve to create better bonds among U and me! yea! and as time goes~ our bonds will surely develop into frenship! yea! We will treat each other as fren regardless of ages or any other limitations that will hold us back! Hence givin us greater pleasure in workin for popular! and thats the reason y i love it..... I told my fren

IN my opnion,no matter how faithful,clever or lovin u are, there will still be spark in between frens which will result in unhappiness and maybe some small conflict which muz be handled wif care to avoid a crisis in between the two person involved! and i know~ my foolishness or unlawful act may had cause disturbance to some of ur life! yea! for that i deeply apologised for my misdoin and hope that u can forgiv me,coach me and bring me back on path~ to wat i am supposed to do. I love ppl to giv me comment on wat i have done wrong maybe my seriousness in work~ laziness.... so on and so forth! I will take this comment seriously and change myself to be a better man! in other words this ppl are so call my saviours~ they are someone who treasure and are serious about the bonds we had between each other and i love and wishes that i had this kind of frens. I hate ppl who keep quiet and bad mouth me from behind~ yea! don know y? They are annoyin! irritatin! I felt that if u have comment about me! y not say it in front of me? I wun think that wat u doin is dumb if u say it in front of me! but if u do it behind me i say it is stupid and foolish! If u don let me know wat i have done wrong, I will forever be wrong! so wats the point of tellin someone that i have done somethin wrong when u don wan me to be wrong forever? isnt wat u doin stupid?

Well! but life isnt a bed of roses( even if it is... there are still torns and prick all over) I muz learnt to work wif both kind of ppl! yea! maybe i sound dumb! but that is wat i really think! sometimes! when things get a little out of hands~ calm down, think, wat should i do to not let this happen again! gossip and make a big fuss out of the small thing or by sayin" hey boy! wat u have done is wrong and i wan u to know!" U guys know ar! this month ar! i keep fitin wif my parents leh! until i so tired to talk wif them! do everything also no mood! wan to play also no mood! can stare at a blank computer screen for 2 whole hours just thinkin how to solve the this conflict harmonically! slept at 3+ 4 every day! haha! sry JENNY! due to that i cannt giv in the best to my work! but i promise u! i will get back to normal as soon as possible! yea! wo de huo qi zui jin bi jiao da! so very easy angry! drink herbal tea liao also no use! mus be lack of sleep! so inactive and tired durin work! yawnin my way throu for the past few weeks! until IRENE told me that it seems lyk i am workin becos I nid to work! WELL NO! haha! it is just recently i too tired therefore no mood to work! but i really lyk workin in popular! really! that day josephine scold me! cos i nvr care my department then ge-kiang(act smart) go help other department! PSPS LEH! ah jo! sry also! becos i really don know still got so many things nid to do! I too new liao! i tot that is the end of text~ no stock, no return, no job! psps! my thinkin too childish! now i know that some book still nid to wrap! nid to put sensor and so on! ps again make u angry! next time hor! u muz tell this xin-jiao( new bird ) wat to do leh! cos i tot that is the end for text! don angry ok>? T.T

I recommend u guys this book! shermales~ dam good la! dam real! dam touchin! and dam lovely! u guys will love it! wat is better then lovein a guy who is prettier* than a model(women) althought the power of love may be strong but still they cannt overcome the law of mother nature! nice book! Trust me! buy it, rent it or steal it! u wun regret! ^^

that all signin out now!!!!

singapore govt~ too 'ON'

2009-02-27T21:55:00.002+08:00

Lol! today~ i met up wif jem,jaiver and swee soon and we plan to go for some tasty yet cheap cuisine! hotel standard!(U know i am extremely hungry when i am not feelin alright) at the price of 13++ leh! somemore still phoneix hotel leh! that smart alex jem took us on a trip to find this bargain! we took a long mrt ride! stand or our way throu the squeezin ride to find urself venturin in Orchard! AND the best thing is.... the hotel was demolish..... WTH! we onli see the demoilishin buildin leh! NVM! the best has yet to come!

Next we got to marina south! also lookin for food! yea!it seems lyk we are er-gui! after the ride to marina bay! we took a work into marina south! and the super on govt~ -.- demolish the whole of the place again! wah! we walk so far in!( at least 1hr walk) just to see bangala~ and alot of heavy machine! y... now hor! the economy so bad they still so on de! corruption or wat?= = nah! just kiddin! i don think they will do it! so my dinners flew away~

We took a cab from the rural area all the way to lau pa sar sia! imagine the cost of taxi~ somemore i bao ka liao! imagine the sound of my heart beat! lyk beatin so fast sia! but at least hor! the meal at lau-pa-sar was quite enjoyin la! nvr know ss was such a great eater.... EAT MORE THEN THE PIG(me) SIA! extradinary.... then took a mrt and when home! chelsea nvr tell me lyk wat suchi so didnt buy! don balme me hor! is u nvr tell me! and then dota! and then..... i don know wat liao!

RMB:love is blind..... friendship closes its eyes!

QI dai wo men yi qi chu men!=D

For very special one- wendy

2009-02-26T01:51:00.003+08:00

Winy....I wan U to know that I am feelin very bad for wat i said! and is really very bad! I don wan to see you feelin upset neither do i wan you to cry! It's is just that I am really very very confuse now as to wat i can do or wat i mus do! I hate hurtin U! I swore before that i will not make any girl cry becos of me! U are a really a very good fren! U are someone i did look forward too~ U are good in almost all kind of aspect! really~ U are fun,cute,friendly,nice,interestin and alot more which i cannt express throu my words! I don hate U! in my heart U are already ACCEPTED long ago! I do miss you! I do think of you or have the urge to talk to you sometimes! I do hope that one day U and I can sit down at a corner talkin our way throu the busy city life! I do hope that I can pick up the courage to giv U love,happiness and a never meltin smile that will last throu out ur entire life! But!but! no! i am afraid that I may not do it well.... I am afraid that I cannt giv such a wonderful girl wat she suppose to have... I am so afraid that if i carry on this~ I may end up givin u sorrow and tears which will wet ur pillows throu out the nite.

I don wan such a innocent! such a pure girl to be hurt by me! I don wan to hurt U! I don wan to giv U a love, a life wif no gurantees... I wan U to be happy! I wan to feel ur happiness and laugh together by ur side~ but i don wan to feel ur anger and sulk when i am wif u! YEA! U can say I don have guts! U can say that i onli have one and a half balls! But I really don wan to giv u a bad memory that will last U throu out ur life! I felt that i am not good enuff for U! I felt that i had not known u enuff! I felt that we may not last till eternity..... and when all those thoughts floods my mind! I felt so strongly that u will not find happiness with me! I felt my heart achin and sourin away! I felt ......... I don know how to say!

When JJ told me that u love me! there was two kinds of feelin rumpagin my entire body! first is happiness~ and second a heavy sense of worriness! meybe I am thinkin too much! maybe wo zhi zuo duo qinq! but i am really so happy that U have accepted me! that i couldnt sleep well yst nite! but~ i also felt worried! I felt that i might not make it to what u wanted!(I just wishes to hold U so much but.... don have the courage too!) .... I apologise for actin stupid just now and prentendin that i didnt know! Becos other then that! i don know how else I can make u feel better~ I don know how to make you feel happy when things comes to this! Maybe I nid more time to know U! maybe we are rushin into things.... or maybe.... I don know if i can make it to whole ur hands! When u say i am cute~ I was so happy! i wish that i could stay pampered by ur side lyk a small child followin his mother!I wish that I had enuff time to know more about U... I wan the good impression that we hav for each others to blossom into love! BUT unitl now i am afraid I cannt make it! Can u pls give me a little more time to know u better???

*FOR ALL THAT I HAVE DONE WHICH HURT WENDY QUEK XIAO JIE! I apologise! may u pls forgive me?

Mother nature created me with 5 qualities..
TO love,to hate, to feel to think and to give
She also unknowingly place in 5 emotions..
Smiles,confuse,hurt,pain and sourness
to make it more prefect she place in some values..
Cheap,friendly,BAD,helpful,passionate
Hence she completes me and si so called the artist of nature..
But she was very unwillingly to set up mechanism in me...
so she told me 3 words and tell me that~
there will be someone who can help me paint my face everyday!
I was left all alone searchin for that her~ waitin for her~
but until now i still found none!
those 3 words are i love you! =(

ALL my dearest frens at popular!

2009-02-17T23:15:00.004+08:00

First of all! A very happy birthday wishin to one of my dearest cousin, Sylvia!~ well! u grown bigger in age! means u older le wor! mus be more mature and guide ur younger siblings well! although i maybe 2-3 times ur size~ and do not look good u still did not neglect me in all ways! for that i thanks you! and may GoD! or wateva angels in the world bless u becos of ur kindness and concern u show for ur younger siblings.... okay! hope u lyk the bears i bought! POOH leh! cutest thing WALT DISNEY ever created leh! if not becos of pooh! they close shop go home sleep liao le leh! wish u may be as popular,attractive,as highly needed as this pooh WE gave u! but pls! don follow his size! althought i mus admit the size is wat caught me to lyk it! cos don u think we have the same round tummy! ^^

Secondly! nice to meet u(yeow boon) after so long since we last met! u still roams earth wif ur secret weapon! UR bloody PSP! -.- but well the way u speak shows me u grown much more mature! which is good,very good! at least i wun nid to think of any newest game or any game which is in trend to make u talk, at least u can talk other stuff and make me laugh out loud! Think about those stupid yet funny comment u makes today! still makes me wan to laugh... well! maybe when we have time, I may try askin all of them out again! and we can suan JJ together! until the next time we meet! may u be as happy as today every day!

Thirdly! liyan ar liayn! U know ar! u don have to be so sad! or angry or quiet all the time! I don know wat **** bomb into u! until u suddenly have 180 degree change leh! I know la! recentlty u very stress! and heard from JJ( don blame him! is i torture and use all kind of things to make him say de!) U are down becos u had a little personal problems wif some of ur closest ppl on mother earth! Eh! u know ar! when ppl reaches different stage of their life! thier behaviour, their moods, their thinkin changes into comethin very different from wat u actually know! so much so that sometimes it may be scary.... and annoyin for some cases! YEA! so u muz learnt how to live wif it! or find soluions to it and not run from it or oppose it! at least u got a good joker!(JJ) to talk to! well althought he may be quite stupid and attention seekin at times! but he is defintinely that kind that will listen to u and cheer u up when times is to come! so U can look for him and talk more wif him to lessen the stress and not cope it up! first it is bad for ur health! second it sux to keep every thin to ur own!(* SRY!!! really very sry!!! for bein a busybody) pls forgiv me for bein a busybody! becos i hate to see any of my friend sulkin all day! U can also come to talk to me if u nid me to help u in anything.... seriously! anything! so be bad to ur old form will u! i rather hav a liyan that start my day by scoldin and sourin me! then a liayn that keep quiet and sulk all day long! ok! i remove the promise u make! u can scold me now! and pls scold me! TY

fourthly, I wan to thanks my very good teacher- Chelsea! if not becos of her! my days in popular! will be much much harder then now! she taught me alot! help me alot! even when it comes to lame and stupid customers! A patient and lovely teacher!YEA! i muz admit that u r veri clever! U r one girl that i see that can handle so many things so effectively~ i mus say! i am impressed and really impressed by wat u can managed! by wat u can do! although i muz also admit ur jokes are lame! and not funny at time~ but well! I really appreciate ur help and seriously lookin forward to the next time we work together~ a good teacher.... ( got time i treat u to tea!

next I wan to talk about JJ! got so many thing to say sia! but don know how! A fun,interestin, act cute, attention seekin,noisy,childish yet lovable fren! yea! it is a fortune to have u as my fren in the present world we are livin in!( but in dota! don be my team! u ********* FEEDER~ shoo~ shoo~) well! U have a weird temper! which sucks at times! and a stupid brain which one to smoke ur way to hell! PLUS a smelly mouth! which ends up cursin ppl of all ages! other then that u r actually a veri veri good guy! much much more gentlemanly then me! I mean it! U can comunicate and talk to girls so well! cheer them up, make them happy, make them laugh! yea! that is somethin i can nvr do! and that is somethin i always beeen tryin hard to do! somethin a true man should have! the abilitly to giv laughter and happiness to a womans life! U done it! u have that somethin so special that out of 100 guys onli one have it! Well! make good use of it and U will be some man great! of cos -.- that is after u minus all those bad points! last thing to add on! u are also generously~ super generous! super good point.

As for snow white- i don know u much other then know u can camouflage urself well wif the wall! ah-ha i still haven forot! i owe u swesens!
joyce-onli know that u are a jc student... fun friend
yuwen- shy! quiet! and will be studyin in RP next time!

* PSPS! next time i know liao then i talk about u ok! don ask me y i write this kind of stupid stuff! first it is not stupid! second is becos i too free le!!! and lastly! i tot about ur all when i am stonin lor

regrets NO, but missin U, yes!!!!

2009-02-15T22:01:00.001+08:00

well well how should i start? okay! erm! yst was valentine day.... eh! had quite a fun day! had A flower! flower leh! rose some more! haha! workin was quite fun and enjoyin la! BUT y did she giv me attitude sia! angry leh! tsk tsk tsk is onli wat u can say to me when ppl not around is it? dam pek chek! but understandable la! i know recently u got alot of problems so ur mood not that good la~ but don worry i will always be there to help u if ever i am needed for ur help! so don sad le! cheer up! now i am the one that is supposed to be sad not u! cos u make me so sad yst leh! hiax! until now i still thinkin y u have to do that lor! but i wish i could join some of u guys for movie! i wish i could be lyk some of u had somethin that will stay by ur side! I so dam hope that i could see the point of this valentine day~ eh! scolded some seniors cos they too KL- scold me for nth! then finally see the true power of bein a customer( U make the say) scold until she diam diam leh!

THE nite before valentine-After work! i wander alone to pasir ris beach... wah! alot of couples sia! i felt lyk i am the onli one that is single leh! then got to a bench and sit down starin into the sky,lookin at the sea, seein ppl walk past me together... I felt that i was left out all alone~ i felt the whole world had neglected me! i felt that I miss some of u so much! I felt lyk if i sat here and don move no one will ever know that i am there.... I felt lyk i was so unwanted, so useless ,so unpopular, so unpleasant until she wandered into my head and i was wonderin wat she was doin? havin fun? thinkin of wat she will wear tmr? or busy chattin wif frens about the newest trends? and then i tot about her!I tot i saw her smilin to me!that was when I felt that warmth which suddenly secure my freezin brain and my sadden heart!YEA! that feelin was just so good~

Until now i still do not know wat pulls me towards U and yet drags U far beyond my reached! that was when i told myself that I wan to see that U are happy and nth more!( don be jealous my other frens.... i know ur all will also be happy too de) ... call me dumb, foolish or idiots but at least I am sure that u will nvr forget that ME and always rmb me as a stupid freak that jus kept on thinkin of u! and for that i am happy enuff! but ani way! wish all of u guys a very happy and lovely valentine day....

Love means to watch her be happy, even when you're not the person holding her hands during the sunset.

LIES worse! But that person isnt U! (MISUNDERSTANDIN)

2009-02-12T21:48:00.002+08:00

Okay! today I off from work so got to my dad's shop to help out! saw two girls around my age~ may and vivian (if i am not wrong...) challenge by my dad to ask them for number! I did it and they gave it to me~ so too bad daddy! i won the bet hahaha.... i treat them to drinks and we talk about quite some stuff.... may was popular wif the ppl over there but vivian was way cuter... yea i mean veri cute... i heard she is goin into nyp fashion design! so sad might not see them again but aniway thanks for ur help....
Got pay from my daddy.... then same life lor~ dota and watch anime lor! until someone reminded me of sat~ hehehehe! okay! i will be havin a GREAT TIME WORKIN MY SHORT SHORT LIVE AWAY! so ani of u who think that u would wan to spend this romatic,energetic,lovely day wif me can always come to look for me at white sand popular! and i will be more then willing to buy ani of u a drink! but pls!!!! -.- if u r comin not to see me but for the drink~ then don come PLS- AKU TOLONG TOLONG U!!!, i don wan to be a torture my small little wallet!Okay so it will be a sad day that day! but aniway! life is great for me~ hope it is the same to ani of urs too! -.*

Someday someone might come into your life and love you the way you've always wanted. If your someday was yesterday, learn. If your someday is tomorrow, hope. If your someday is today, cherish.

signin out~

pig deity ( mistaken as one ( c0.02 ) )

2009-02-06T00:57:00.003+08:00

My LIFE is too interestin until i don know how to describe it to ur all! let me tell u~ I was just askin for directions at bugis that day and the girl who actually told me the direction( around 16) smile, walk then walk even faster, so much so that she tripped! -.-!!!! Okay! i know i am super scary in size! but y she scare me until lyk that.... My brother still say becos i flirted wif her! she was over excited because ZHU BA JIE(pid deity) actually came down to earth -.-' wanted to smack him for it...... but even worst my father also say it!!! this one cannt smack... okay! i look lyk zhu ba jie! c(0.0)2 but i just merely ask for directions.... wah! the world is changin! look me as zhu ba jie. I wanted to help the girl up when shell fall but then before i got there she already stood up! so i got her to the stone-chair and help her clean her wound! so much so for bein a dee-kou! not a deep cut, so just use drinkin water and tissue to clean! she was embarass at first and keep on sayin no need until my dad told her i am a medic! SHE THANK ME IN THE END!! and her face is red! BUT my didi say i colour blind and my papa say it was too hot so natural to be red! but at least i did somethin good! o.x!

WELL! well! this few days don have so much work~ so quite relaxin! but no work= no money= no goin out! but places cheap still can la! erm! okay! one more thing, do ani of u guys know when is the registeration for poly? I HATE engineerin!!! x.x

What is LOVE?

Is it a truth?
Is it a fear?
Is it the rose from my valentine?

IF love is truth then let it break my heart...
IF love is fear led me to the dark...
If love is a game I am playin on my guts....

Is it a pain or a cure?
A sign of our fate?
A reason to fall down to ur knees and die?

NEVER endin bus ride!!! -.-( not ghost story for goodness sake)

2009-01-28T20:32:00.005+08:00

First of all i wish everyone who see this post a very happy lunar new year~ ^^ ~ lunar new year is quite fun for me,win quite alot of pocket money,ate quite alot of tibits,get quite a number of hong bao, drank quite alot of alcohol,had alot of fun and most important- gain quite a number of kilo's.... T.T but all worth it la!

Wah! dam sian leh~ just fought wif my mother...... she dam unreasonable!!!! but i felt guilt after the fite leh~ where got mother shout here shout there askin ppl to bathe de~ Fun fair ar!!!! -.- tmr nid go help my pa open shop! life is lyk that.....
(* edwin* if i cannt make it to ur house it will be becos of family business,so pls don be angry hor! next time i treat u movie~) Y is it that every time after i fought wif my mother i will day-dream about how much efforts she put into lookin after me??? into makin my family,my childhood,my life a better one??? why is it that i had to think of that and feel so guilty about it??? why7 is it that i cannt giv in to her in the first place??? somehow i felt i am a very bad boy!!8.8!! but i just couldn't pull myself to say sry! hey!do ur ever have that kind of feelin before???

Today when jem told me to take bus 291, I tot about her! i always blame meetin her, bein friends wif her and lykin her the biggest mistake in my sec life~ becos it onli brings me pain which will last throu my whole sec's life.... but i nvr tot that we actually did hav fun together, it was on a saturday when i volunteer to take her to some course and we took the same bus( just the both of us),spent a huge amount of time laughin,jokin and smilin away but in the end we took the wrong bus =.= and miss a portion of our course but i am happy, very happy when i was wif her! I cherish that every moment wif her,until both of us get off the bus and start walkin different directions.......

maybe life is lyk that!
maybe we aren't meant to be!
maybe we are impossible!
maybe something deny us~
OR~
maybe we didn't even giv each other a chances
a chance to make each other happy
a chance to complete somethin i always long for
a chance to be together and stay forever that way
a chance to make the bus trip a nvr endin one~
BUT i had learnt to let go and forget! yea~ it sux! yea~ it hurts! but life still had to go on! I will be lookin out for someone who will be willing to take this bus ride wif me forever~ever and ever!maybe i can find it~maybe it will be another illusion... but no MATTER wat! i will take the risk and fite for another never ENDIN bus ride. I think i may had found her~ i don know! well let life takes it course

2009-01-21T23:14:00.002+08:00

Went to ORCHARD for movie-red cliff 2 today. erm~ the movie is quite nice plus the surround sound system pushin the enjoyment of watchin this movie to another level. play LEFT 4 DEAD today but spoiler-weiren makes the game not as fun as it is supposed too~ but i accquired a new name- chiongster. hahaha!
New year is commin~ i wish ur all a very pleseant and enjoyable happy lunar new year.... met quite a number of frens at popular cos they are veri good friends.... but was mistaken by some of the full-time staff that i accompany yuwen( another part-timer) home cos i lyk her! hiax! how can they be so dumb? felt lyk tellin them to grow up la!!!!=.= life is fun in popular.I loves some of the girls there ocs they are way to nice, cute and beatiful~ but manager keep change my department leh! don know wat she plannin lor! don even know wat she is thinkin!!! but other then that she is quite good to me! I love to stay in popular! i lyk the ppl there! i love the enviroment! and i would love to see her in my everyday life~ haha! that's all.... aniway i recommend u guys one album by the cicus name take away. is dam nice de lor~ keep me in contact for the lastest gatherin~ ty always be my baby. =D

puppeters!

2009-01-10T00:45:00.003+08:00

5 continuous days of workin is dam tirin~ dam sian~ but earnt much..... 23 get pay! 12 jan get result!!!! busy this... busy that.... really veri tirin!!!!! some customers veri unreasonable!!! buy 30 cents eraser wan to use visa!! WTF!! some veri nice thou!! there is alot of thigs i wan to say but i don have the time to seat here and type my way throught the nite~ okay erm! i heard this song sung by 'the circus' by the name of said it all! it is dam nice~ can any one download it and send it to me??? haha

ppl said i also grown more mature in my thinkin! good thing huh! ^^ i tell u guys still got ppl said i am very gentlemen... wah this kind of comment hear liao dam shiok~ haha! read a book by the name of puppeters! talks about a boy parents bein kill in war and had to follow his grandma around the street to sing "puppet opera"~ he was highly talented in makin puppet and he misses his mother and father so much that he make puppets of them~ slept with them play with them and bathe with them until~ everything change. . . . . . nice book,strongly recommended.

i am a puppet
with all parts of my body attach to the strings
when they pulled on the front string,i frown...
when they released the middle string,i cried...
when they shake the side strings,i danced...
when they put me down and decided not to touch me...
I DIED~
they filled my life with love,interest and care...
makin sure that i know they are there~
they created me with anger,sadness,tears and despair...
knowin that i will be inprefect without them~
thank you~ my dear master puppeters-my friends
i will stay as ur PUPPET till the end~

okay self created~ pls giv me mark 10 marks is the max!!! oie oie oie conside my eng standard first hor!!!!

2008-12-26T14:22:00.002+08:00

First time in my life i have met with a customers who is very kp! very very kp! but nvm, my laughter subdue her,my words owned her! and my actions pwned HER!!! haha! stupid and fun experience~ BTW jem i have started readin wat u send me! and i tell u that was the most interestin thing i would wan to read! the tense and the descriptive use is marvellous. I was thinkin that if that person who wrote that holy thing wrote a book~ omg confirm best-seller! and ya! quite interestin at times! and i respected it well.... that thing was purely for my readin and yes i am impress with the story(FACT) .... well thanks for sendin me this! ty.

********merry christmas to all of u guys**************

eh! btw! 2/5 class chalet is at east coast on 3 jan! all MUS come! i invitin all! good food and lodgin will be provided! dependin on the numbers goin~ all muz pay 25 bucks! if the number shot over 25 then 20 bucks! the more the merrier! npc's also can come which include cr,wj,leon and xw! cos they r close enuff! beers of 50 dollars is provided by ME! ( as marc request) also as a way to treat u guys for me takin my pay! so hurry~ don consider animore! take ur respective off date! pay up and come! *vacancies while stock last! =D.

2/5 bbQ!

2008-12-07T09:26:00.012+08:00

hey hey hey guys! I am really dam busy this few days okay! I know my blog is the pillar of strength for many of u guys so really veri sry for updatin the blog now! eh! the 2/5 chalet was a whole lots of fun and new exp so much so that i am openin another chalet at downtown east on the 31 of dec! interested ppl pls contact marcus!(psst: workin and earnin money is important but nth is more important than gatherin together and havin fun) so i sincerely hope that all of the 2/5 ppl can attend this!ask ur mother or boss to give u off this day la! ^^ and jovey had taken some picture of the passed chalet... take a look at it! don u think i look more handsome than jing han!haha! jkjk!omg!i got someone to help me clean the prawns! for later use! don i look super macho in this picture? wa hahahahaha lazy marcus onli know how to sleep eat shit and con ur grandmother's money! lousy fellow =.= throwin yee wei down the pool! wtf! i tot that was suppose to be my job?
the place we are @! beautiful right! u wun think it is beautiful when ur hand is sandy and ur body is sticky aniway nice place!

there is still alot more pic! is just that i super tired and lazy to upload! beg me for the puc bah! haha! AND WR u still owe me money! don fake fake hor! =) until then~ pls make time for the chalet! love u guys!

bbq

2008-11-25T00:33:00.002+08:00

Eh! i presume today! all the 4/4 guys and girls had fun huh! well heard from eric that the BBQ was fun ( too bad i did not attend) but most of ur had fun! that is the most important thing, well sry guys! i will try to make up for the gatherin nxt time....( i may be the host) well see about it first la cos i haven got my pay yet T.T. i started readin on this novel known as twilight, i tell ur all it's great,fantastic,marvellous... i love the phrase used.... and i belive there will be an esclipse where both the human and the non-human will meet~ well! it is nice anyway read it if u have the time. i met mr mohammad today, given him discount and eric ur book cos 25 dollars! so come buy it from me if u wan it!

'The sun will be out, as the nite passes. But the star symbolises hopes that i am placin on for a short esclipse where i can be wif u alone~ to tell u how i feel, to talk to u about our future, to tell u about our past! and most importantly to tell u i love u before everything turns into dust' >>>nice?

'o' lvl is over

2008-11-11T16:24:00.004+08:00

wah! finally 'o' lvl is over le!!! that also means my secondary school life come to an end le! something great huh! =) i had achieve quite a number of things i wanted! had quite number of friends had quite a number of hates and likes.... i really misses messy school life, those days of fun yet enrichin way of life! i learnt to love and to hate! well yes! many of my friends guess quite correctly who i lyk! and yes i did try to achieve her but i found that it maybe better if we remain just friends. i don wan her to force herself into a stupid love tale neither do i wan her to feel bad about denyin me! maybe that is the best solution!

Also i started workin in popular bookstore situated at whitesand! it's a place with thousand of lovers and single... i am no kiddin! sometimes i felt that i am so blessed sometime i felt so down... they did have happy time together but also they are time when they fought with each others! erm! for my work.... it's quite interestin, i met quite alot of new friends(mostly girls) and have good seniors and manager who are eager to import me their skill! haha! i am workin as a cashier who stook at the counter all day... other then collectin money, i spent my time on novel which are interestin. learnt quite a number of things from that place. come to me nxt time maybe i will give u a discount, =)

read up quite alot of opinion on likin someone....wanted the answer to this question! until she crosses my path and i think i will say the solution is in her! well in the human hearts we fight 2 kinds of war, one is hate and the other is love! haha! i may had lost the war this time but i will win it the nxt time gettin quite stupid! well big thanks to all my friends....

AND a BIG SORRY for lionel! i don know u are so petty! aniway sry for wad i have done! blame myself for not bein mature enuff! anyway U have been a good friend and i thank you for that! haha =) so my sec school life ends here. may all of u have endin lyk fairy tales ( happily ever after) =) thankyou all.

(* if u still wan to stay wif contact to me u can leave a msg at the tag box otherwise best wishes)

hiax!

2008-09-20T23:38:00.002+08:00

Seriously guys! i don know wat to post! cos nothing special happen in my life! hahaha~ eh! okay! i got this past friend who is gettin more n more handsome day by day!($!#$#!$%#) i hereby congrats him!heehee~ he had attitude problem now! and so i thought i wan u guys to know that popularity is only for a period of time, if u mistreat ur friend or forget where the water flows from(chinese) at the end u will find two side departin u! yea! sad thing right! haha~ my brother had been quite a bad boy recently n toyed with my phone! hope u guys don get disturb by him! in the past i always felt that i know love! but now because of an anime i found out that i actually don know wat is love~ heh! i think i know it but somehow i don... somehow i felt i am so far away from talkin about matters of the hearts... i am not sure how it feels to be in love! i don know how it feels to love someone! i don know how it feels to receive love! somehow, i only know how to hide wat i feels! >.< not because i am dumb or wan to attract attention but..but... but... to let the one i loved had a peace of mind! to let that someone know that i don nid to be by her side to love her~ somehow my animal instinct told me to hide it!haha~ maybe i am dumb maybe i have no guts! maybe...lol! I wish one day i could tell the one i love this!
ever since i met u!
tears kept flowin out out my eyes!
I ask the tears why?
thay told me that...
those pair of eyes had no space for them!

haha! quite stupid right!I have a thousand and one way to say i love u but will u have only one way to say i love u too? LOL! i felt dam confuse n retard! yea i am retard! low iq! but i wun lose to anione of u in my 'o's exam includin u cr! haha! sleep le nites!

exams over!

2008-09-12T20:24:00.002+08:00

Hi guys! long time since i talk with u guys huh! Eh! i know my result interest some of u huh! well!i wun wan to hide it! i got 1c5 2d7 and the rest goes to c6! quite disgusting results huh! well i'm workin hard on it so that i don see this in my 'o' level cert and i'm certain that i will not see it!haha! that's life! ^^
well but i hope u guys did really great for ur prelims but i'm not surprise if ur achieve my level or even lower! REMEMBER! if things don work out this way twist and turn to reach ur goal! in this world there is no such thing as hopeless! rather there is things we known it as givin up! YEP! like wat evonne said:regret is the worst thing in life! we're still young and energy seem to be surging inside us! don lose that to a moment of despair make urself tired really tired in wantin to accomplish wad u aim for! i belive u can do it!
Eh! tell u guys, today I see for myself a guy with a tummy of at most 2 time my size goin out with a very cute girl!OMG! is that wat people know as love! I suddenly felt that all i lack from as compare to the guy was fats and confidence!haha! but all i want is confidence! I know i want to make her happy! I know i nid to do something! i know i nid her~ well! i'm a lousy loser!!! T.T (pls vote)

I want to be your arms, I want to feel your touch,
I want your lips on mine, I need you very much.
BUT will you ever agree? ......=.=

GOOD luck for 'o' lvl love u guys! always be my baby! eh! i meant always be my friends.

One week holiday!

2008-09-05T19:22:00.002+08:00

this one week holiday can be said to be a week wasted also a week earned! As hee~hee~ i failed to touch any of my school work, NONE at all! therefore i said it's wasted!but also earned as i had plentiful of time to rest and eat! so don be shock to see how round i became when school reopen! also i used this school holiday to sort out my thoughts bout my friends!( because read a touchin book on it) and how i think my friends should be treated~ and how i should give them the respective respect,care and concern! U can say i learnt alot! u can also say i waste all my time on these things, but i know for myself that after the book on 'friends' this term have go one step deeper into my heart! therefore i started off this 'CRAZY' sms thingy! thanks here for those touchin, hurtin and interestin reply from all of u guys. e.g xia l@n king from wei jie. i hope u guys know, we are partin in a few months or so! it saddens me alot when my friends leave me, betray me or even hate me!(i know i may be hateful) because when i decided to be ur frens~ I cherish this bonds, i wan to protect u from all harm, i wan to be the first one to lend u a shoulder,I wan u to be happy, to be free, to live with no regrets! until i Cannot make it anymore!well! i seem to be childish! i seem to be lame! i may even seem to be stupid! but I really wan u guys to know how special ur all r! there is this term i lyk very much, "friends are the one who scold u,hit u and fought with u! but they r also the one who will fight with u, share ur joys and ur sorrow." yes! that happen to me before
this holiday also let me retrieve some of my old lost feelin's of the past contradictinly I also lost some of this feelin to the past..... hiax! u guys must be tired of all this huh!erm!okay! when school reopen i will be formin my own self-study group with high discipline standard... 3 places to anione interested! after school everyday study till 3plus 4 sms me if interested,ty.eh! don ask me who i lyk animore TOLONG!QUI QUI Ni! when the time is ripe i'll let u know! unless u wan to tell me that u lyk me! hee~hee~ k le! anione wan warcraft? i'm dyin for it!

Friendship is like a flower,
Glowing in its glory,
Each and every seed,
Telling its own story.

As each flower blooms,
And then continues to grow,
More of its strength and knowledge,
Continues to show.

And like a garden,
It blooms much more fair,
When carefully tended,
By those who care.

Once in a while,
You come acress a friend,
Who is as beautiful as a flower,
With a good heart to lend.

So I picked this flower,
And pulled it apart,
And soon all its pieces,
Grew into my heart.

But when I realized,
Is that this flower that grew,
Was not leaves and petals,
But pieces of you.

Your love and kindness,
Your strength and power,
Have helped me grow,
Into my own little flower.

And now with our friendship,
I'll never let go,
And we can help others,
To flower and grow.

* a copied poem with good writin enjoy!

prelims sux

2008-08-29T19:29:00.004+08:00

=C finally the end of prelims, eh! this time i did study a little bit harder for the prelims examination but never did i expect the paper is more difficult then i have imagine one example is the POA paper!Omg lianghee give a 'A' level paper is it! write wrong huh! confirm flung! confirm die! HIAX! =( BTW! guys i know ur all care alot bout me but pls stop come and fan me bout who i lyk~ U know i wan to bury this name six million feets underground so that no one can ever find it and know one can ever disturb her! To me i felt that love is an affair between me and her! and if we really meant to be together no one can separate us for love is said to be the strongest magnetic bond in the world! but if she turn around and say "NO!" i will neither force her nor make her lyk me as i believe in her choice! YEP! that's me that jz! so when the day comes when i siad those magical words that change one's fate! and if she wans the whole world to know bout it so be it,if she wans to bury it i'll do it. She have my respect! i'm not good in hoaxin words but i do wat i promise! for u i promise to be a safety charm..... I PROMISED

For you my sweet angel I would die
I'd pick all the stars from the sky
And give them all just for you
To let you know how much I love you

My angel I'll love you thru all eternity
I would do anything for you sweetie
I wrote this poem from my heart
To let you know your my sweetheart

Please stay with me forever
Take my hand and lets be together
Lets fly up to the heavens above
And show everyone we are in love
(onli if u agreed! =( .........)

all take note

2008-08-23T09:03:00.003+08:00

just a quick post! eh! quite recently i heard about the ********* of me! thanks for the overwhelmin support and time u put in to question me! >:( like i say, Y do ur wan to know about who she is? unless u wish to be that unfortunate one! haha! U know until now! I still think that i have no rights to like the other girl or worst still stead with her even though i really like her cos if we go out ppl will different discriminate the girl by sayin things like she must be despo that kinda thing..... I felt that it would be better to leave her alone and watch her from the dark! do u think so? i not prefect that is very obvious, but now i 'm tryin to go to a prefect person! wish me success baH! cos i will make it no matter wad. Hey girl just remember that although U're not the prettiest,not the richest or the cleverest BUT U are the one and only out of the so many i fall for. U can say it is luck, fate or even life that this happen but i will blame it on some specialty U have which others don't. Ur smile and laughter are like river flushes me away from U! Ur emoness and tear are like magnet pull me towards u! but pls don cry rather than smile cos I'll be there whenever wherever U wanted! just note that i wrote this! U are not alone! okay guys good luck for ur exam! and ur 'o's and don becos U wan my concern u deliberately fail okay! i will still shower U love,concern and care if U pass! for me... eh! i think i go study now le!

2008-08-11T11:15:00.004+08:00

Hey! wad sup guys! u know actually i shouldn't be doin this cos my prelims are comin and i still got a lot to catch up~ U know.... sleepin,gamin and disturbin is my favorite hobby when the teacher are shoutin for their life out on the battlefield!So i'm always the one who don know anithin or everythin but with the help of some good friends, i manage to make it here safely! haha! okay lets start! national day celebration was fun, althought our class did not manage to make it to the gold for floorball and basketball! but they were really fun! btw! grtaz maisul and pals for winnin the socccer on friday! yea! ur're great! class-t was nice better then jem's! haha ^.^.NDP so-so~,warcraft so~so my life also so~so nth special.JUST THAT I FINALLY SAW SOMEONE TRUE COLOUR! haha! =.= everythin great! chiongin to prelim! may i and all my friend get A's for their prelim and 'o'! dearest jz! Eh! last thing ~ my nick is DEVUL not devNl, and for goodness sake call it correctly! ty

I wan to change myself!

2008-08-01T20:28:00.002+08:00

hi! all my friends,buddies and darlin! quite long time no see! i mean quite some time seem we met or talk to some of U guys~ :) hope all of u r not havin any terror tearin up a parkin lot coupon... or experience somethin wierd in this hungry ghost month! but aniway if u have ani interestin stories pls tell me.ty :D i wrote this thing today~ because i felt there are to many thing happenin around me and most of it belongs to the group which brought unhappiness for the bearer! and alot of it got to do with me! So i think about it! and found out that it should be me that my friends start to react to me lyk that.... i meant it should me my fault!I mean #$%#$%3 I am the main cos of unhappiness and i muz change or else i will be the next loner on earth! so pls treat this as apologisin.... i don ask for anithin but i wan u all my victims to see me repentin~

kovit- Sry! for not tellin u the truth! T.T
lionel-SRY for that hand on ur head and those unpleasant words use T.T
eric-Sry for bullyin u! T.T
clarence-Sry bout makin fun out of u! T.T
shuwen-Sry bout sayi ur house got no mirror T.T
sansan-Sry bout sayin u r black T.T
shanice-Sry for sayin that u r round T.T
adeline-Sry for all that u r unhappy bout T.T
weiren-Sry for forgettin ur geo notes T.T
yingsiew-Sry for forgettin ur geo notes T.T

SRY for everythin i have done that upset the rest out there! really really sry!

2008-07-25T17:40:00.002+08:00

Guys!in a bad mood this week! T.T becos i fought with one of my very good friend!very very good friend..... I don wan to say wat happen between the 2 of us and i don wan to know wat will happen to the both of us! but i will think it positively! Yesterday night..... i broke my oath and scold some very very vulgar language! but worst of all i scold it to one of my dearest friend.... therefore I'm stillin feelin very down even until now! SO guys pls don said i shilian okay! I nvr in my whole secondary life tang guo lian ai okay! so i cannot shilian! =.=.... i am in a complete blank situation not knowin wat to do..... or how to carry on! should i live the way i'm doin now? live the way i'm before? ~BLANK~ I really lyk and hate him! when he acknowledge me i felt as happy as a god but when he gave me that **** face i felt very sad! and as he talk to me I turned from sad to fumin mad! but for all he do i still look forward him as a big brother! as a real friend of mine!SOmetime i blame myself for havin itchy hands but when i think of it I blame him for not listenin to me..... and when i thought further! i know that he is in bad mood that day! so i apologized! but all i did was reward with one hard,cold and painful word......"diam" tell me guys wat the hell i did wrong and wat the hell i should do....... i am goin to break soon!(just jokin) +) Friendship is like glass, once it's broken it can never be fixed to the same standard as it was made. therefore i am tryin to protect it! >.< life's hard! wun cry!,wun lower my head twice!

Broken Friendship

A tear is shed for broken hearts,
As Faithful friends, do depart,
A wasted bond which has been spun,
Weakened, battered and undone,
And always vengeance in the way,
But still their tears drop, day by day,
Wishing things could mend and heal,
But anger is all they wish to feel,
Scared to admit that they may long,
To one day, fix the things gone wrong.
But till the day of mended pain,
Both shall struggle to maintain,
Their ignorance to their mistakes,
Their empty care that friends did break,
No one knows, what future holds,
But two true friends do unfold,
It came so quick, without demand,
But as for now, it’s in their hands,
For neither knows what other feels,
But both must know what all is real,
The memories of the endless times,
The pain that seems in constant rhyme,
The mending power which they confer,
The reality of longing for,
And now lies the day which needs an end,
To leave it stay as broken friends,
Or to work for things that they do long,
But either way, they should move on.

Feelin happy! =) lost weight!

2008-07-19T22:38:00.005+08:00

HI guys! how ur week? havin fun? bullying lim liang hee? OR just felt lyk comin here for free air-con....said by the great NARNIA beast lionel leow! I think maybe he got pretty tired of playin with xuan yan,U know to raise up a baby in SINGAPORE nowadays is lyk tryin to cultivate roses in the middle of a desert! if not handle with care both the flower and the human will suffer or even worst enter a dimension where u nid to fork out money to buy some light bulbs! not to mention n this inflation period..... it is as thought tryin to cultivate a rose in the middle of the sand storm..... tiring,stressful and forceful! also would lyk to thank jaiver for his DRAMAstic support for my blog!thanks bro!okay! I will start with my life! once upon a time in the land of singapore, over there live a giant that have ever increasin gravity, every steps he took he damage the ground use for farmin! every sweat he shed cause a heavy storm for the fisherman! every time he ate! the villagers will have insufficient food for 3 whole days! one fine fine day! the giant look at happy couple bein together..... he felt that if he don do somethin to mother earth core and keep lettin gravity act on his huge ball of mass,he would be left out......... alone! so finally he use all the spade he could find to dig a whole straight down to the core where mantle was scorchin bblllsssss..sss.s.ss..s..s! he try to use his salive to extinguish that ball of fire,but no matter how hard he tried...... that ball was still bblllsssss..sss.s.ss..s..s burnin non-stop! he crawl out of the hole and force all his friends to accept him as a prince! but non of them accepted him and some even threaten to hang himself if the giant forces him to say that he is a prince! sad and dishearted.... the giant cried out loud.... his voices echos throught the night bringin fear and sendin free air-con services for some of the villager as they felt he was a tua-bui-baby! LOL! then a group of villagers came to the giant! maybe they could not take his natural amplifier and told him that U are a good man! LIVE lyk one! FIGHT lyk one! and DIE lyk one! the giant begin to live the way he was and found happiness...... onli throught belivin urself! belive wad u are and acceptin it or changin it will giv u happiness! guys! i lost 5kg ^^!! yea! lighter giant>.

I lay my love on YOU!

Sometimes at night,
When I look to the sky,
I start thinking of you,
And then ask myself "why?"

"Why do I love you?"
I think and smile,
Because I know,
The list could run on for mile.

The whisper of your voice,
The warmth of your touch,
So many little things,
Make me love you so much.

The way you support me,
Even my silly notions,
The way that you care,
And show such devotion.

The way that your lips moved,
Fills me with desire,
And how you look at me,
With the warmth of a fire.

The way your eyes shine,
When you look at me,
Lost with you forever,
Is where i want to be.

The way that I feel,
When you are by my side,
A sense of completion,
And overflowing pride.

The dreams that I dream,
That all involve you,
The possibilities that I see,
The things that we can do.

How you finish the puzzle,
That lies inside my heart,
How deep in my soul,
You are a very important part.

I could go on for days,
Telling of what I feel,
But all you really must know is...
My love for you is real.

Hell with parkin coupon!

2008-07-13T00:20:00.007+08:00

Hi guys! long time no see, i mean alot of day nvr see,i mean quite some time seem we met! wat wrong with me? last time it is because of crap and crab! now it is because of time...#%$@#% okay! aniway hi guys! i went to work today, like any usual Saturday!but i was given a task of tearin a parkin coupon so that the traffic police cannot summon me! lyk wat they did to most of ur daddy's,mummy's car ^^! when i tore the year,a cool breeze flinched my backbone...all the way from the top right to the bottom,i then slowly removed the section for the month!my eyeballs went white,as if there was some unholy thingy sitting beside me! then i took a sip of coffee,which gushes down my throat lyk a waterfall.The feelin of caffeine roamin inside the tubes of my body is just great!I took a deep deep breath,slowly i poke my fingers into the date section.... I saw a world of completely emptiness,I saw the border of bein so close to dead but still yet alive,it was as thought I were parachutin and i found that my main parachute wasn't workin! it was as thought god came to me and say this is ur last and final time,fail! and u will never be able to purchase a light bulb from him and can stay forever in hell! >.< now! ur all know how much is it a horror to tear a parkin lots coupon! ti was as if 50 tons of rice is thrown onto ur back!
actually the scary part is not visualisin but thinkin!....... don get the wrong idea that i am bein lazy or have consume some unprescribed by the doctors and need a visit to the mental hospital! no okay! i am fine! is just that when i tore the coupon I saw 'o'level bein so close! at a faster pace then any jet plane u see! at a unstoppable rate! T.T felt lyk cryin! cos got no idea what the hell i'm doin the past few months! arrgh! alot of catchin up to do!GUYS hope ur are PREPARIN for that very last blow! U will always have my support cos i have fate in u! feelin stress or down,come find me?( expert in counsellin) nah! lyin nia!i no expert in anithing! k liao! go to some work le miss u guys!

I wish to buy a 10 storey HDB flat from jing han,
fill it up with different things at different floor!
1st floor would be a beach,
which i can be with u all the way till dawn!
2nd storey can be a kitchen,
where i can cook u my food with love!
3rd floor should be a gigantic bathtub,
A place we can talk all our way till dusk!
4th storey must be a theater,
and we will record our very own couple piece!
5th floor will be made into a very very large bed,
so as to hump u to sleep every night!
6th storey is to be made into a play room,
plannin for both of our very own masterpiece!
7th floor could be made into a large diary,
the place to record all my love for u!
8th storey is our livin room,
a location where we play pillow war!
9th storey will become our very own sport stadium,
to jog with u all till dusk break!
the 10th and the final place will be a place i never wish u to go,
An escape route to the present world.....
because all i ever hope for
is a home consistin of YOU!as the female master!

jing han i pay U on interest can? pls la! lend me money! for my future de!

who wans a crab!

2008-07-03T21:00:00.004+08:00

Hi guys! how r ur? feelin lyk crap? wan to eat crab? or wan to steal crab? okay let me stop myself from sayin this kind of crap! Arrghh! just stop the stupid crap thingy can mah!okay! Be steady! take in a deep breath and say! crab!@#@#$%$!Enough......!Lol! I blog this today because i got no time to blog on this monday! I felt lyk crappy that day! felt lyk a crab in a pot! felt lyk I may lost myself to the crap world! still feelin crappy until now! okay!aniway special THANKS to Dawn,san san,xuleng,shanice,jermaine,eric,ming han and KOVIT! really love and hate u guys! u make me felt lyk a crab that day! extinguish my crap feelin! and gave me a crappy birthday! Never in the name of any holy god I met,I would expect to recieve such a glamorous,cute,sexy,cool and even similar lookin figurine of me~~ although the head is a little bigger than mine! and never never did i expect that all of u care so much for me! OMG! Ur all did the most most unexpected thing in my life! for that Ur all shorten my life span by one year!OMG until now i still don know wat to say! I don think a million thanks would be enough!a billion would be too little! but a trillion is a little too much! lol! just jokin lah! happy for the gift ur gave me really really happy bout it! but the thing i am most contented about is that the pooh looks exactly lyk me! chey! no lah! the most contented thing is that I know ur all for not say quite long but ur all gave me the present which some of my best best frens did not manage to give! for that I am happy that I met u guys! may whatever god in the holy universe give u all the CRAP u nid!haha~!but i know u guys enjoy seein me out of speech right! bad boys and girls! especially the siao ting tong! haha! one phrase I would use to describe our bonds! friendship Bonds forge by LOVE! from today onwards I swear to my winnie the pooh! that i will love u guys,protect u guys and fight with u guys today,tmr and tha day after~ until the day when all of u falls!or else i will never leave! always fightin hard by ur sides! Ur beloved friends JIA ZHEN! with love!

If I were a memory I’d hold you there forever
Reminding you of the good times we shared together

If I were a smile on your face I would stay
Never to let sadness chase me too far away

If I were a teardrop I’d roll gently down from your eyes
Not to burn much but to mend your sweet cries

If I were a hand I’d want you to hold me in your own
Carry me through life .. even when I’m grown

If I were feet I would stay inline with you
So I could be with you in all that you do

If I were a shadow I would always follow
We’d face things together in all the tomorrows

If I were pain I’d stay far away from the start
To make sure you never felt me or I never broke your heart

If I were a song I’d be a sweet sound to your ears
To keep up your hopes and carry you through the years

If I were strength I’d give you my all
I’d hold you high and never let your fall

If I were your heart I’d be steady and true
I’d be there in every beat; staying strong for you

For all I am, I am your friends
that will be right here for you!
and always by your sides if your head ever turn!
today,tomorrow,forever~eternal!

birthday

2008-06-28T09:09:00.004+08:00

Okay! yesterday is my birthday!It ended the way it was suppose too! so don wish me belated birthday anymore pls!thank you! erm! my birthday wish is for all ur guys and me to do well in our 'o's and i know ur guys can do it..... but doubt a little for me! btw i wan to declared something.......
the rumour that have recently been past down my the siao ting tong eric ting is unreal de! Dawn and mie are just normal friends! pu-tong pen you! nothing of that sort! no even somewhere near for now!future are hard to predict! u never know who god will put me up with! not to mention i also don know it myself!maybe..... or maybe not....... or even don think about it! so pls hor! stop this stupid thing leh! best present for me liao le lor! at least ask for our approval before startin it! cos not funni at all =.=! damm childish! heard from some of u guys that the oral is difficult! muz go prepare liao! but how to prepare?no idea about it!thanks guy for the present and those for the wishes! may i hope that ur will be the happiest living mammal on earth! erm! last thing! hope that picture is my future with my best love ones!

If i have onli one minute with you!
i will fill it up with I love U!
if i have one hour with you!
i wan to cling on tight to you!
half day will be just nice!
i will hold ur hand till the day turns night!
one night will be a little too much,
keepin u warmth throughout the night!
one week will be more than enough,
to show my love for u is more than enough!
with a month which is a little too much,
to make u as happy as a nut
a year will be wat i ask,
to safeguard u at the back of my heart!
a decade is wat u need,
our house maybe somewhere down the street!
but infinite should be the key,
becos' my love for you never cease!

Love needs no mouth to tell! but a heart to feel!!!
( love is lyk bein a girl,if u have to tell someone u are. u aren't!)
I don nid eternal and forever!!!
but i love to hav today,tmr and the day after!

last post until ......

2008-06-18T22:12:00.002+08:00

yoz frens! its has been quite sometime since I did some serious postin! BTW,how are u guys doing? prepare for ur 'o's? how is ur relationship? everlastin? eternity? but most importantly y did u visit my blog? =.=!! finish ur homework got nth to do? quarrel with ur family or friends? bored? feelin lame? or just interested in my life? hope so!!! but sry to disappoint u guys! cos update may not be that common animore, 'o's is comin!!! mother is naggin!!! memory is fadin!!! books are flyin!!! not a good thing to be celebrated about!!! but aniway! today i got to play badminton with a few fools,enjoyed myself cause quite fun indeed..... eat some lame stuff!!! but got a horror of my life"arrrrrrghhhhhh" actually not quite a horror la! is just a pig gainin more gravity on a weighin scale! I have been facin those numbers on the scale for years!!! too numb to fill anithing le la! always love u guys!!! don miss me hor! but if u r a girl go on ahead! ^^!~woo~~woo~~ k le! end to this lame blog!

You made me laugh when I cried so hard
You gave me strength to cover my flaw(weight)
You held me close when I was so cold
You offered a comforting hand to hold

You picked me up whenever I fell
You showed me heaven when I was blinded by hell
You answered my calls in the darkened night
You gave me the reasons to hold on and fight

You rescued me when I was drowning in pain
You placed me back on the right path again
You loved me forever and stayed by my side
You entered my heart as an angel to guide

You may not be with me so much anymore
But I know you will leave open a beckoning door
I miss you so much but I'll fight till the end
I love you so much my lovable friend.

copy a little but the main idea is there enjoyed!!!

2008-06-12T22:24:00.003+08:00

Today i watch"the blog" on chnnlU, they talk about people being quiet!!! shh!! after that show! i pause and wonder to see if i met this kind of people or even have this kind of friends. WOW!!!!! I think I met some of them before!!! NOW! i understand wad they wan to be feel lyk, how they wanted to be treated. For them PEACE is the best medicine and laughter may be thei worst NIGHTMARE! they are some group so special that nid less care,less love, less concern and most importantly less SPEECHES to survived. They are lyk flower who can exclude fertilizer,water,sunlight and maybe even carbon dioxode to develop their cold and cool thinkin! sool huh! now i think i can better handle them le! haha!!! foolish of me!!! they r lyk that not emo!!! haha!!!! slow!!!

If I had 1 wish
It would be to give you a long and tender kiss
If I had 2 wishes then
I would choose to do it over again
3 wishes you say
I would have kisses for a night
4 wishes would not be too many
10 kisses will be what i ask for
5 wishes might be too much
Then I would choose for a gentle touch
wrap my arms around you
until day melts into night
6 wishes would be very nice
I could hug you more than twice
7 could be what I need
But only if you really agreed
To talk with you into the night
Till day breaks with early morning light
8 wishes I will ask
Would you grant me this tender loving task
9 wishes, no one get so many
I think that 9 would be more than plenty
What I really want is wish number 10
This very wish would make me the happiest of men
I would kiss you
I would hold you
I would love you
I would give you my heart and life

T.T but until now!!!! i cant even get one HIAX!!!

OIE!OIE! those out there mai copy wo de poem hor!!! got copyright de hor!!! not for u then mai copy!(erm! develop from chapter song!)

eggs & love-theory

2008-06-10T21:16:00.004+08:00

Hiax! today i been cookin eggs for my family..... quite a borin day.... but then I thought of somethin which i think is so interestin that i must share with U guys...... Days ago someone 'quite' special ask me for my definition of love!!!! Hiax! at that moment I felt lyk wtf!!! then i spoke some bullshit...... until today...... I think i found my purpose or definition of love!!! (althought may seem quite bullshit to some of u guys but that is truly wat i felt or wat i think love would be!) to me i think that all woman are lyk EGGS!!! no offend!! same goes for relationship too!!! if u keep the eggs well,protect it from humid places,keep it away from harmful germs, the egg probably wun get spoilt so easily... same goes for relationships if u protect it,take care of it,show it with ur love,care and concern!!! it probably tends to last longer!!!if u play with the eggs everyday..... u probably get tired soon!! similarly if u go out with ur stead to often u probably be very SIAN! of it one day!! but if u leave the egg in the frigde for too long...... u may forget u actually hav one egg!!! same goes for relationships!!! lastly if u treat the egg on the pant to harshly!!!! the eggs together with the oil may actually hurt u causin u to lose the egg, but if u treat it to softly, u may lost the egg without even noticin it!!! same goes for ur relationship to a girl? NOW NOW!!! after all i had said don u think love!!! or" true love" is very complicated and nid a lot of care,time,hardwork in mantainin and preservin or even gettin start with!!!! I am not sure if i am ready for that challenge but i certainly don wish to fail the ones around me!!! IF i must be a egg!!! i will giv my master protein,fats and all the calcium she nids!!! cos that is me and that wads i think really is me!!!! for all those who choose sexual desire on my blog !!!! 4 letter ****.

I thank God he sent you to me,
For you and I were meant to be,
We have a bond too strong to break,We have a LOVE no one can take.

In you, I have found a love so true,
My heart is filled with LOVE for you,
Everytime I see you, my heart skips a beat, You make my life whole, you make my life complete.

My love for you grows more with each passing day, The though of your gorgeous face takes my breath away: Those brown eyes fill my soul with happiness. Those luscious lips I love to kiss.

The day when I become your man , Will be the happiest day of my life, Even thinking of that day makes me smile, I can't wait to walk down the aisle.

I dream of that day when we'll both say, "I DO" For always and forever.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

SO WILL U PLS BE MY EGGS?

for YOU are the one that giv me energy to live!!!!"I do"

singapore poly

2008-06-06T08:18:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, the open house for Singapore poly..... wj, me, leon and xuan wei went over for a look........ WOW!!!! and we got a veri precious lesson!!!!! WOW!!! which is never to choose tourism with a L1R4 of 12 and above cos more than 200++ person is snatchin for a position of 100 in SP. HIAx! i think can go aim for my butcher liao la!(Gone Case) T.T after that I went to shoppin with kovit and eric, although i didn't buy any thing but it was sure fun!!

In this world!
there are 8 kind of love!
parental love: parents love towards their children.
luxury love: a likin for someone cos he/she is rich.
immature love: a likin for someone cos by the immature thinkin.
sexuality love: a likin for someone cos he/she can fill ur sexual desire.
monetary love: a relationship bought via $$
playtime love: havin a relationship as a playtime appetizer
true love: no definition (each ppl have different view)
objectivity love: a likin particular object

Without you, the city falls asleep softly,
Without you, the color disappears slowly,
Without you, the trees forget the wind,
Without you, the night is chagrined.

Without you, my music does not amaze,
Without you, my hours are days,
Without you, my heart gets bored,
Without you, my steps are too heavy and not labored.

Without you, my thoughts prevent me from going to bed,
Without you, I do not distinguish the horizon ahead,
Without you, there are no heavens,
Without you, the time forgets its reasons.

Without you, I am afraid of the next day not chosen,
Without you, the haze conceals the splendid ocean,
Without you, I do not figure or picture anything pleasant,
Without you, I am wondering this question at this moment...

My love, where are you hidden?
Without you, my happiness is forbidden,
My heart without you, is not at all replete,
My life without you, is so incomplete...

SO COLD AND DARK!!!!!

for my most well repected teacher

2008-05-30T19:16:00.008+08:00

....... guys, today i did a very stupid thing...... because i was afraid of gettin scoldin........ i skip Mrs choo class.......... not thinkin of the consequence.......... not thinkin if I done it right.......... not thinkin of 'HER' feelin..........I am sorry Mrs choo....... although i know this is all to late, sry that I did that out of my own selfishness to you.I don think I have the courage or the right to ever face u again...... I betray the trust u given to me again and again!!! without appreciatin how much trust, how much love,sweat,blood and faith U've given me!!! until now it was all to late!!! I did not think of ur feelin as I act!!! how the could hell did I turn to be so selfish!!! I hate myself!!! Like i said before U're a great teacher...... some really really great one...... cos U're one teacher who input alot of trust in ur student,U gave us freedom of choice,respect,care and many precious guidance that never one teacher I had gave me!!! I hate myself!!! because other than words of apologies........... I really don know what i can do to repent for my mistakes!!! I hope U are here to witness this,I do not dare to ask for ur forgival!!! I do not have the courage to up hold my words and promises to u!!! but I do wan to tell the world somethin.... I do wan to tell the school something.... and i do wan to tell my friends somethin...... that no matter wat u do,no matter how much U scold.... no matter how much anger vent on me in my heart,in my mind,in my blog,in my life U're still the "BEST BEST TEACHER I EVER HAD! AND I EVER WISH TO HAD" all i wan now is to say thank you teacher.And for my friends who still uphold her trust! pls do not misuse it! treat it as somethin more unquie,more beautiful and more expensive then a dragon horn!!!

I never mean to hurt u
the way I know I have.
Your trust means more to me
than anything and I'll do whatever it takes

Since the day I met you and
your words touched my heart
U shower me trust,care,concern and respect
I knew that my life would never be the same

Please forgive me for the my stupidity act.
I'll make it up to you every chance I get
I'll respect u.... understand u....
You have my words and my respect forever and ever.

I AM SORRY!!!

...... words from the bottom of my hearts.......

...number pattern...

2008-05-29T20:03:00.008+08:00

I never expected my love life gossip would be quite popular among my friends,but.... as uncertainty level rose.... guesses were made...... and rumor soon spread .Hence this shows both a positive and a negative sign,positve in the sense of their care and concern level for me,neagtive in the sense that they confuse the crowd with different opinion of wat they think I like!!! hiax!!! sad lehx.... but similarly I am happy also... so should i say thank you or oie! wat u think U are doin!Btw for those interested pls relax!!! chuan tao jiao tou zi ran zhi!!! when the boat touches the port it naturally become straight!! Ur will know the ans eventually!!. so i think i should say thanx for ur concern and ur patience? haha!!! I hate extra lesson organise by our school the principal dam kiao ** leh!! ppl school onli 2 days!! my school is lyk so many days!! hiax!!! ENDURIN SUCESS!!! GIANT SLAYIN MENTALITY!!! HIGH ACHIEVER!!! LEFT RIGHT BRAIN!!! they brought no change to my life T.T hiax!!!!!!

A thousand of word,
A hundred of term,
A million of phrase,
A billion of noun,
To describe my feelin for u.

A thousand kind of ways,
A million time of attemptin,
A trillion amount of hrs spent,
A billion ways of approach,
I still can't hold u tight.

A million of ways used,
A hundred of methods applied,
A trillion time of tryin,
An infinite amount of pills consumed,
I still can't stop thinkin of u at nite.

I don nid ani returns from u,
I don wan any lies for comfortin,
I don expect ani placin in ur heart,
I don wish for ur love,
all I wan........is
U to show some appreciation.....
say thank you.......
and never delete me from ur sight.....

*I cant promised to be the most handsome one,
I cant promised to be the richest one,
But.........
I can promise.......
I love YOU more than anyone!!!!

declaration

2008-05-29T20:03:00.000+08:00

Birthday......

2008-05-26T18:54:00.006+08:00

hiax!!! my my..... why all the people in the world come and wish me happy brithday when it isn't my birthday =.=! anyway I felt that they have the heart to remember and wish me a good year wish i am very grateful about.... I must say that i am shock by the over-whelmin 'wishin and blessin' i received from all my friends. aniway thank you guys... ur're great.... erm! I should rephrase it as ur're extradinary great,love u all! today is the first 'o' lvl paper....(nvm I got $$ for second try)T.T. my birthday is on 27 of june hope ur don forget^^! and all the best for ur papers!

* may call ur out on june to celebrate my birthday... so if pls leave a date u're free on,on the chat box!!! ty.

I'm so sad and depressed
all I want to do is to rest
I go to sleep at night
But my dreams I just can't fight

I think of you lying in that bed
And wonder if there is anything I could have said
I wish you were still here
But I know that you are nowhere near

I love you more than you ever would know
I just wish you didn't have to go
I just want one more day with you
to let me pour my thoughts into you

I miss you more and more each day
There is so much more I had to say
but as i began to look away
another me long to stay......

I do not care
whether you are black or white
if you have loud or soft
cos i love you the way you are

i intend to continue that way
that direction,that route
that path & that road
to LOVE you from the deep of my heart....

......cos this is me & this is how i made up......

food fair

2008-05-24T17:12:00.006+08:00

I heard from the news that there was a truck carryin full of medical supply that drove into the shop to sell it off in CHINA,si-chuan province. Shock and disgusted was the only words i can use to describe my thoughts and feelin then........ how could somne one do such inhuman act when the whole village is dyin how could him........ I questioned myself if this wat Confucian's teachin are made up of.......but i realise these are not becos those already lost their mind to profit and cash.
I went to food fair with lionel, jermaine, eric and lucas on friday this week, one word to describe my trip 'fresh'. Here are some photo taken hope ur enjoy it.

china death toll increasin

2008-05-18T17:22:00.005+08:00

wah! a few more days to Vesak day!! the birth of the enlighten one..... my god la!!!but china death toll was still expectin to increase leh!!! i really feel sad for the victim of the earthquake.I thought of it and understand how difficult are this people who r askin to for a chance to survive and how easily people gave up their life to the death god,what is this people who are struggling for every means and way to survive and people who are askin for god to end their life, don they know if their life ends here they will not end anithin but start the sufferin of their love ones,i had a old friend who told me that teacher and the exam results are givin him/her too much stress and might want to considered the unholy way.He/she expect me to give him some concern and words of advise never to expect that i will call him/her and shout at him/her.LOL!!!!!! when did i become a weirdo hiax!!!

people say,there is no such things as eternal love.....
U made me understand that although there isn't eternal love there is eternal memory,
Families told me that love can't filled one's stomach....
but u made me understand that love can fills one's thoughts,
Friends say that love is an emotionless ghost that haunt those in it.....
but u made it clear that it is more of and angel that embrace those in it,
Teachers say that love is a waste of youth and time....
u made me appreciate love more than my youth and time,
Goverment say,love is way far for us....
U made me realise what importance isn't our age but our time spend together

it was u and onli u who made it clear that i do have a life to continue....

...................pls spare the victim god...............

for those who visit my blog pls pray for the victim...... thanx!!!!

dream

2008-05-17T23:20:00.006+08:00

Today i had a dream, not quite a bad one but neither something good....... lol wat the hell am i talking about. okay! the dream goes lyk this... i was all alone by myself in a small corner and all my friends left me!!!! I was really scare so I cried and shouted for help because the feelin of friendless and helpless is just veri unbearable.So i cried I cried ,and i cried until i woke myself up with tears all around my face poor thing right.... lata on tonite i will be goin to sing karaoke!! wonder if it will be fun^^ but i hope so!!!

if there is a nid to wait,
I will wait.....
if there is a demand to love,
I will love......
but if there for us nid to hate,
U can never find me to hate
cause I will never hate u,
no matter wat u do or how u do......
my heart will always be there......
cause i am made for u........
and onli for YOU.........

.......................... i hate dreamin...........................

survey results

2008-05-15T18:20:00.003+08:00

arrrrrrrrrgghhhhh!!!!!! i cannot take it anymore!!!! my Chinese teacher dam ****** keep on suan me!T.T is it past life time i offended her or is it this life i offended her to make her hate me so much."wah! 56 ar!" wth lyk i cannot get 56 lyk that. y she every time lyk that de!!! china so many people die....(sob) sometimes i really feel uncertain about god's intention!Y does he or she wans to create humans and destroys his or her's own word forcefully... inhumanly! I am prayin for the ease of the departure souls from the world and also for the safety of all my love ones, if anything should happen to them i would feel worst and i wan to be the last one to feel it especially ' that one' cos if anything is to happen to u i will be the one to suffer..... so take care of urself.

The below shows the survey results:
HOW MANY % OF MY WORDS CAN BE TRUSTED
- chiou torng 55% - weiren 80%
- kunlong 50% - jaiver 85%
- huiyee 80% - ying siew 1%
- jovey 0% - clarence 80%
- wei jie 80% - xuan wei 80%
- kovit 85% - eric 80%

HOW MUCH DO U WAN TO BE MY FRIENDS RATE FROM 1-5
- chiou torng 3.5 - weiren 4
- kunlong 4 - jaiver 5
- hui yee 4 - ying siew 4
- jovey 0 - clarence 5
- wie jie 5 - xuan wei 4.5
- kovit 5 - eric 5
- lionel 5 - zhi yun 5

big thanks to those who join in the survey........

A walk that seem 10 miles away,
A mouth that seems to stone all days,
A jar filled with hope and care,
A heart felt with love and concern,
A childish thinkin that this is impossible,
A pain i felt when i lost u...
A step i move closer to you!
A love runnin far away!
A step i move nearer to u!
Another story fadin away!
A slight movement to touch you
my happiness smilin away!
.........
A love meant for you and only you
make me feel lyk u are my everyday!

My Grades

2008-05-12T18:56:00.006+08:00

Hi guys! I writing this cos ur kept askin for my results. Erm! by the way I oso know of some friends who did not do that well either, rather then discouraging or actually makin use of this as and opportunity to laugh at those who u dislike,I think that we or u should show some care & concern for them cause u might not know but ur every move means a lot of different for them. My results until now are still so-so,but with a high possibility of failin english and a 100% possibility of failin my physic.From wad i heard from others senior and school teachers, mid year paper are normally harder, cause teachers wans the student to actually buck up for their studies and be fully prepared for the comin 'o's exam so if u did not do as well, pls do not get too depressed over it, but if u done well gratz u for that and keep it up cause slackin away will bring u no where.And if u did not get as good as expected learnt from ur mistakes and carry on strivin, I trusted all my friends in gettin good results and i know ur can do it cause, althought i have foolish or lazy friends who did not score but i strongly believe if they put in their hundred % they may be the next most sucessful businessmen we see on tv,or even the most popular doctor in singapore.Cause i belive all of them have a dream and that is what drives them to unrealistic limits or even force them to go beyond it.All the way, my friends,my laughter and my joy.... my dear puppeteers.

remember: knowing what u want show ur destination
but........
doing what u want shows ur road to ur destination.

To all of my friends and those who think
they are a friend of mine.

2008-05-09T23:19:00.004+08:00

Some one asked me today what exactly are angels to me,those with a Florence lamp on top of their heads? those who have white wings behind? or those young babies flyin all around the skies? after some thoughts and deep thinking, i finally got a solution to the answer.

My life is filled with 3 angels,
Each of them got different technique to keep me goin,
One is my keenest listener,
Another is my best encourager,
last one is my best adviser,
All of them shown me directions,care and concern,
They are always out there to be on the front line,
This wingless angels,
blessed me,protected me and guided me,
Through my darkest hours in life,
Hence it make wat i am today... frens forevea

thanks for wat u 3 did, ur are great, my life wouldn't be better without anyone of u.thanx alot.

2008-05-08T20:30:00.001+08:00

I am a creation of my family & friends,
with all part of my body attached to strings,
when he held the right string up,I frowned
when she pulls the left string around,I cried,
when he shaked those strings about,I danced,
when she release the top 3 strings,I smiled,
but as they played with me,I felt warmth,
but when they ignored me,I felt thorns,
they gave me life,emotion & happiness,actin as a lubricant tokeep my heart poundin,
they showered me with care,concern & love,
providing me with the courage and energy to go on,
if I were to be asked my most important in life,
I'll not be my live,career or finance...
As compared to those,
It will be my dear puppet masters.

My new blog hope u guys enjoyed it.

*the result of the survey u guys did will be out in a few days time.ty guys
( feel free for any comment.thanx)