I must work harder! to my goals, my dreams, my mission, and you.

It quite a long time since i posted something here, on blogger. Recently i was given the job of a Ursher at Kpop night. After the entire event, I felt that i have wasted 18 years of my life doing nothing, go crazy over nothing and getting all that heat up for nothing.

All my 18 years of life, I have been worrying if ever "my loved one" will be happy! was worrying if she will go away with someone! doing all the jobs to make me look that i am actually on a leveol they can rely on, but actually i am nothing! totally nothing. Looking at all those korean pop band. They were merely 30 and they actually make a name out for themselves. They are that young when they already make a name out for themselves and what about me? I am 18 goin 19 and i couldnt even save the first 1k in my saving account! that y once again i questioned myself, how much have i grown? how much am i to the goal of being a good father? how much happiness can i bring to that girl who is with me? the answer is..

I don even dare to think!!!

I want to make a different, but now the question is how? how can i make a different? Do i study hard? work hard? or rather make efforts in little thing i am doing? I am lost. But defintely i know i mustnt stick to the path i am walking now! cos it isnt the path for me! I must work harder! to my goals, my dreams, my mission, and you.

It has been so so so so so dam long since i last posted anything on the blog.. hmm... Maybe i am too busy or perharp there isnt anithing for me to post but most importantly I am here and i have got something to say!

I got a feeling that I am too childish! don u guys think so? guys as in those silent blog stalker? So i think that i should grow up to be more mature to be more steady in the way i handle things and so on and so forth! so first thing i decided that i shouldnt use that much of my game nickname! devul, althought it sounds dam cool to me but also it sound childish to me.

And for those "dear" friends who keep buggin me about whether if i have a girlfriend this or that! PLS~ stop. I don have one. other then that, life is pretty boring for me in poly.. but i hope it will be fun someday after another. until then! take care!

Actually i wanted to share some stuff with u! feelin so brood up inside, wanted to find someone to talk to! but whenever we come across this kind of topic u keep on tellin me not to think too much! not to think too much! but, I am not thinking too much
! I am not thinking too much!!!!

U said that we are not possible! Have u put urself in my point of view and look at those words which u send via sms? Discriminating eh! veri hurting eh! If u say a few times can bo-chap! but everytime when we talk about this! every single time..

Why? If i really like u! those words from u will meant nth! but if I merely treat u like a good fren and u kept on sayin that! i felt that u are not puttin me on the same level wif u! What if i lyk u? Wat if i not? am i that unworthy to u? Unuseful? always admire ur style of doin stuff! but it feels dam sad knowin that i am not on the same level wif u! dam sad.

lesson 1

First of all! happy new year guys~ wish u guys have a splendid year.

Hmm.. Im wonderin, what hurts the most, see-in ur love one get hurt? or thinkin that ur close one brought all the misery onto u? hmm.. hard to make a choice uh! haha~ read this short novel online! quite a sad one! "happiness never last! but sadness remains in our memory forever!"

For boys-can u possibly bring ur emotion down! in order to "hurt" a girl whom u loved? for entertainment? who could? hmm.. When a problem emerge and there is a need for the pair to split up! the guy will always take the first move to asked for a breakup if the girl's safety is ensured.After breakin up, the guys will always do things undercover to ensure that the girl's pain is cushion as much as possible! thinkin that happiness is ensured before he decided to vanish into is emotional world.

But they never really understand how the ladies think.Do U think the ladies would prefer bein alone yet safe! or bein wif him yet dangerous? think again! do u think those cushionin ever helps them? or do u think at the end of the day they are soakin their pillows in tears? hmm.. go watch new moon! the ans is there! who lyk seperation? who lyks bein alone?

The onli big difference between girl and guy is by the way they express! normally, an emotional lady is easier to spot compared to an emotional guy! guys are pratically good hider and woman are better in expressin! Think again! do u think the guy is feelin less pain compared to the girl? think again!

ok ok! i know! for some im talkin crap! but yea! just wanted to clear my mind of this stuff! SRY~ T.T