First thing first! happy b'd to my dearest mother! hope that u will will be as happy as a nut! but don turn into a nut la! afterall! i wan a happy and carefree mother rather then a mother! it hurts my heart to see u angry or feelin sad becos of my actions! i will promise u i will be good! so that i can freeze ur smile till eternity.
slept for 3 hrs yst nite! hmm.. ya! was broodin over somethin! but NO! i nvr emotional breakdown! i just felt very bad! veri veri bad and sry to some of my frens! after i heard from cherry wat u said! my heart just shattered! i didnt expect,didnt think, didnt imagine not even dream that u will say those words to me. Was my care for u not enuff? was it that i had bein doin the wrong things from the time i decided to help u? was it that.... Im no longer sure wat i did for u was right! am i right to exchange my frens and her moodiness for ur smile? am i right to stand by ur side even if the whole world will turn against me! had i done somethin wrong yst nite? i really really don know!
I wanted to keep my promised! i wanted to keep u free from tears! i wanted to keep u free from anithin that might hurt u! i wanted u to be happy! but~ i don know! i got so flared up becos im worried bout wat u did! u wanted him to giv up! u wanted him not to waste his time! but that is just not the way to do things! that is just so incorrect! by lettin more ppl know bout u and him! u are not onli hurtin him but urself too! do u now that? if u hurt him! his frens will hate u~ u will have less frens! u will feel sad! and alot of other veri inconvenient stuff will comes in~ if the whole class knows about it! Steph may knows! and from the present data we had so far! Steph has the highest possibility of lyk him! and u will make urself another enemy and make one of ur frens moody over it! ppl in the class may also not agree to wat u are doin! cos from alot of ppls point of view~ he isnt a bad guy! he is quite a "popular" in the class, they may deemed ur actions as somethin bad rather then the way u think it is. In my point of view! wat u are doin is suicidal rather then makin him giv up! i don know~ wat maybe the best way for u to tell him this! but a face to face talk is unavoidable if u wan things to go that way! so ya.. i don know! maybe wat i said was bullshit! i just arrgghh... feel veri vexed up. do u know u just poke somethin sharp into my heart yst? it hurts! really hurts! i don know y u are doin it! but ya~ i had always deem u as a close frens! so close that i am willin to go to the extent of goin against 2 of my most important pillars in life! but but~ u showed me in one nite that i was really nth to u! u told me cherry that i was sidin him when i almost giv up everythin in return for ur smile! i just don understand y do u wan to say that! im always standin by ur side, helpin u to keep alook out on appraochin dangers! but nvr nvr nvr did i dreamt that u will actually say that im just sidin him when i am not! Im not regrettin for wat i have done, neither did i felt ani happier by doin that! but i just i just wanted u to be happy and stay unharm at the end of the days! Im sry that i broke my promise yst! im sry that i made u angry yst! im sry ting! im sry yy!im sry for tryin to act smart!im sry for bein a smart alec! i just don wan u guys to be gloomy and sad at the end of the days.. Im so sry for everythin guys! it is all my fault! so all of u just pls smile! and ya~ thank you cherry! really thanks!
i don know how to cont le! just hope the best for u guys! ya thats all! so ya.. pls be happy